Change

As 2014 comes to an end and 2015 is about to make it's entrance onto the stage of history, I am reminded of a quote: "Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does." William James

The end of one year and the beginning of the next evokes thoughts about change i.e. resolutions.
I resolve to make changes in my life, stop doing this, start doing that hoping that my "will power" is strong enough to succeed in keeping my resolutions. Alas, I discover all too soon how fragile my "will power" really is. I am a creature of habit resistant to change but, change I must. It is one thing thing to have insight it is something else to integrate that insight into sustained behavioral change.

George Benson puts it beautifully:

 

Everything must change
Nothing stays the same
Everyone must change
No one stays the same

 

The young become the old
And mysteries do unfold
Cause that's the way of time
Nothing and no one goes unchanged

 

There are not many things in life
You can be sure of
Except rain comes from the clouds
Sun lights up the sky
And hummingbirds do fly

Winter turns to spring

A wounded heart will heal
But never much too soon
Yes everything must change

The young become the old
And mysteries do unfold
Cause that's the way of time
Nothing and no one goes unchanged

 

There are not many things in life
You can be sure of
Except rain comes from the clouds
Sun lights up the sky
And butterflies do fly

 

As I enter the next season of triathlon training I am mindful of  growing inner change to sustain healthy external change during the next chapter of my journey. I'm empowered to "run on to see what the end is gonna be..."

 

HAPPY NEW YEAR

 

Peace & Blessing on Your Journey

 

Moving through the winter season

Yesterday, I was blessed to complete an in-door Tri 10 minute swim, 20 minute bike and 20 minute run with a group of wonderful athletes, coaches, and support staff. The experience taught me some valuable lessons.

 I was reminded once again on how self-critical I can be. My internal judge and critic were working over time trying to negate my accomplishment. I am now growing in my awareness to take internal and external feedback in stride examining the truth of the matter from a subjective/objective perspective.

Could I have swam more efficiently? Yes, of course! However, I was able to use my survival skills, changing up my stroke, rolling, over, etc., to calm down gain control thereby avoiding drowning!!  This will be extremely helpful when I tackle Lake Michigan and other open water bodies next season. Could I have biked harder and got more power wattage output per pedal stroke? Absolutely!! I did keep my RPM's between 90 and 100 for 95 percent of the ride. A future compu training class will help me gain speed, endurance, and power! Could I have sprinted and ran faster on each lap? Heck yes!!! However, I finished strong with energy to spare, engaging my core and "squeezing the quarter" will help my running form.

The biggest lesson I learned was about pain. Finding, the motivation for working through physical discomfort. A quote from "G.I. Jane" always comes to mind: "Pain is your friend, it tell you if you seriously injured and remind you to do the job and get the hell home!...But, you know the best apart pain...No Master Chief...It LETS YOU KNOW YOU'RE NOT DEAD YET!!"

Is training hard" It sure is!! Is it painful? More I can care for it to be!! I am learning to tell the  difference between being hurt and injured. If I'm hurting I can and will push through it! When I'm seriously injured I will seek medical assistance. I am coming to realize that pain is the crucible where the soul is forged.

This winter season is a painful one for me on many levels. It is easy for me to retreat into the silence of pain. My ability to force my heart, nerve, and sinew to serve their long after they are gone and hold on when there is nothing left in me except the will which says to them hold on; is what motivates me to fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run. How I move through this winter season, not running from or suppressing my pain but, rather  embracing and befriending the difficult moments and grief memories will invite to stay connected to me as I swim, bike, and run into sustained recovery.

Will I ever "win" a race? Walter D Wintle provides me with the inspiration to undergird my motivation. He writes:

If you think you are beaten, you are;
If you think you dare not, you don't.
If you'd like to win, but think you can't
It's almost a cinch you won't.
If you think you'll lose, you've lost,
For out in the world we find
Success being with a fellow's will;
It's all in the state of mind.

If you think you're outclassed, you are:
You've got to think high to rise.
You've got to be sure of yourself before
You can ever win a prize.
Life's battles don't always go
To the stronger or faster man,
But soon or late the man who wins
Is the one who thinks he can.


Peace & Blessings on Your Journey

A funny thing happened on the way...

So, this morning I wake up in what I thought would be enough time to make it to the gym for a Run Club class. For some reason the time got away from me. I just lost track of time. As I'm headed out the door I realized that by the time I made it through traffic, parked in the gym lot, put my stuff in the locker, Run Club would be 80 percent finished.  Normally, I would have jumped in the car trying to make it to class, feeling angry and frustrated the entire ride then arriving late missing the workout. So, in that split second I decided to forego the long drive and go for a brisk walk/ light jog.

The weather was cold but, not too cold to get a mile and some change in. On the final stretch home I hear somebody call my name it was neighbor who is a member of  a workout team I belong to. She was on her way to spin class. I almost went to that class but decided to do some toning and strengthening at home. When I got to work I checked my email and discovered that I may have signed up for Half Iron Man training (which is way beyond my current abilities!!) actually, I meant to sign up for a different training program!  I was about to give in to frustration and disappointment but I was reminded of this poem:

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,

When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,

When the funds are low and the debts are high,

And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,

When care is pressing you down a bit-

Rest if you must, but don't you quit. Life is queer with its twists and turns,

As every one of us sometimes learns,

And many a fellow turns about

When he might have won had he stuck it out.

Don't give up though the pace seems slow -

You may succeed with another blow. Often the goal is nearer than

It seems to a faint and faltering man;

Often the struggler has given up

When he might have captured the victor's cup;

And he learned too late when the night came down,

How close he was to the golden crown. Success is failure turned inside out -

The silver tint in the clouds of doubt,

And you never can tell how close you are,

It might be near when it seems afar;

So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit -

It's when things seem worst that you must not quit.

The Journey Continues..
 

Starting over

It is difficult to believe that my last entry was Sept. 2, 2014!! Time truly keeps on slipping into the future! The past three months have seen setbacks and failures. I am reminded of my fledgling attempts to learn how to bike, ski, and rollerskate. Each fall more painful than the last. There is a cultural wisdom proverb that says: "You fall down seven times, you stand up eight." So, this entry is me, standing back up after falling down and staying down for over three months.

I was reading this morning the Greek myth of Theseus, Ariadne, the Labyrinth, and the Minotaur. Theseus' journey home was through the Labyrinth at the dark center was the Minotaur waiting to devour him. Theseus conqured the Minotaur but, needed a way out of the darkness into the light. He had a life line that Ariadne gave him which he unwound as he got deeper and deeper into the maze. Theseus followed the tow line through the dark Labyrinth until he broke through to the light on the other side.

I was asked today why am I preparing to engage in Half Iron-Man training? After my last showing in the Chicago Half Marathon and International distance triathlon I have no logical reason to sign up for a Half Iron Marathon, yet here I am signing up after having such a poor performance my last two races..

The motivation (drive) and inspiration (draw) to train and race comes and goes like the waves of choppy water. I am coming to realize the importance of embracing and befriending the ebb and flow into the Labyrinth and the way out.

My goal is to be present to my pain while training, and to learn from my multiple dimensions. There is a poem that resonates within my soul:

The test of Man is the fight that he makes. The grit he daily shows, the way he stands upon his feet and takes life's numerous bumps and blows. A coward can smile when there's naught to fear and nothing his progress bars. But, it takes a man to stand and cheer while the other  fellow stars. It isn't the victory after all but, the fight a brother makes. A man when driven against the wall, still stands erect with his head held high, bleeding bruised, and pale is the man who will win and fate deified because he isn't afraid to fail.

The Journey Begins Anew                                                 

Next Chapter

As I look back over the year I can truly say I've been blessed. There were some disappointments and moments of victory. I've cried and laughed. There were times when I was focused and periods when I was foggy. I am aware of the ebb and flow of life that has carried me this far on the journey.

There have been times when I've been so overwhelmed and other times when I've experienced pure grace. The next chapter in my life is beginning. I am receptive to teachers and faith filled companions along the way.

I recently posted on Facebook: "Transforming form requires awakened consciousness, intentionality is the foundation of sustainable change" Every day I excerise and experience healthy nutrition I am being intentional about transforming my existence from the inside out..

I was intentional about getting 3 miles brisk walk/jog  in and I felt much better after it was over. There is an exciting opportunity with a new Swim training team.

I have much to learn and experience in preparation for the Half IronMan. So, time for sleep to rest for the  next evolution/revolution.

Peace & Blessings on your journey.

Into the Center

So, the Chicago Triathlon International distance (1 mile swim, 24 mile bike, 6.2 mile run) is coming up in less than three days. In earlier posts I raised the question why I would do this kind of endurance event at my age and size? What point I'm I trying to prove? To whom am I trying to prove that point? Why am I trying to prove a point at all?

I am coming to the awareness that I struggle with the idea of getting a DNF (Did Not Finish) and pushing through until the end. I am becoming increasingly aware that the goal is to experience my subjective self  as I swim, bike, and run. The risk of injury is always lurking in the shadows however, finding the balance between pushing my body and knowing when to stop is the awareness of internal and external connection as I leap into the halo of my core and experience awakened presence.

I see myself reaching and pulling through the water, breathing deeply and fully, alternating between relaxed  and hard strokes, conserving and expending energy with each reach and pull. Coming out of the water I see myself warmed up and ready to ride. As I mount the bike I feel the activation of  my quadriceps and hamstrings (one day I'll use clips to get an efficient pedal stroke.) As I dismount from the bike I feel the heavyness of my legs as I shift my weight for the walk/run.

As I stay in touch with Me, I will finish strong and complete. I am grateful for family and friends who are with me on the journey. A week after the race I will celebrate the completion of one chapter in my life and the dawn of another.

For those who have read this blog may you experience the center of your soul.

Peace & Blessings On Your Journey

Letting my voice sing

When I was younger I liked to sing. Certain songs spoke to me and resonated with my soul. I would try to sing the song the way I heard someone else sing but quickly realized my voice didn't match the quality, pitch, tone or rythym of singers I listened to.

One day I was playing around with the notes of a particular song when my great grandfather heard me and asked what was I doing. When I told him he said "stop playing if you are going to sing" "then sing". Why does this story come to me now some thirty plus years later?

My song is birthed out of pain. My song is sometimes mournful. My song is sometimes funky. My song is jazzy and classic. My melody is  hard and soft, simple and complex. My rythym is ancient as time and as new as the morning dew. My song is unique and nuanced.

Listening for and feeling into my song is at the core of my life's quest. My song is my authentic being giving expression to my story. Writing this blog has been an attempt to articulate the lyrics of my life.

The beat goes on!

Peace and Blessings on your Journey

MIA

I am amazed by how much time has passed since my last entry. It feels strnage to even try to re-engage this process now. I am so far out of sorts that I can't even explain it!

I have not been actively training in quite some time. I find myself moving slowly trying to get bcak in the groove. It almost has if life has passed me by however, I am aware that, that is not the case. I have only just minute, only sixty seconds in it, forced upon me can't refuse didn't seek it didn't choose, it is up to me to use, suffer I lose it, give account if I abuse it. Just a tiny little minute but eternity is in it.

So, back to the gym I go...feeling some kind of way about being gone and coming back         

I AM STILL HERE!

Sunday I participated in my second Shamrock Shuffle. It is a 8k (4.9 mile) race that officially begins the running season in Chicago. So,  me and 31,000 fellow shufflers pounded the pavement of Chicago's downtown streets.

When there are that many people running you will always find someone you know which the fun part of the race the pre/post race gathering. I started the race with folks I knew along the way I tried to keep the pace the crowd was setting. My internal judge and critic was working overtime comparing my form and pace with everyone around me.

When I saw my results I was emotionally deflated. The harder I worked at breaking free from my inner judge/critic the more judgemental I become of myself. I judge my inner judge and  a vicious cycle is created.

I am learning that my judge has something important to say to me, so the issue for me is not trying to ignore my inner judge or fire my inner judge we have been together all my life. My inner judge is the sum total of all my childhood conditioning to be critical, mistrustful and self-doubting. My inner is the compilation of all the negativity of people who ever punished me, teased me, bullied me, abandoned me and rejected me. Me and my inner have a history together that can't be ignored or denied. The issue is not about fighting to silence my inner judge. The issue is how do I handle my judge?

Become aware of it. Accept it. Express it.

So, I say to my inner judge/critic bring it on! Yes my time was slow, yes my form was not great, yes I'm carrying extra weight, Yes my breathing was off, Yes I thought I did worse than I expected, But, I AM STILL HERE!  My knees hurt But, I AM STILL HERE! My ankle is tight But, I AM STILL HERE! I feel dejected But, I AM STILL HERE! I didn't complete the race in under an hour But, I AM STILL HERE!

So I say to my inner judge/critic I hear you loud and clear. It is what, it is But, I AM STILL HERE!

Peace and Blessings on Your Journey

Breathing Rhythm

Last Sunday I did my first indoor triathlon, 10 minute swim, 30 minute bike, 20 minute run. It was a  different  experience than outdoor triathlons. The goal was to go as far as I could within each timed set. I realized early that a metered pool is longer than a yard pool by eight feet. Those extra eight feet made a difference in my time and distance.

My running instructor has a saying: "Run, Your, Run", my swimming instructor says: "Long and strong" my spin and cycling instructor always plays my favorite speed song "Run, Run getaway.." In each discipline it is about finding the rhythm that is sustainable over time. Finding the balance of speed and power through breath control.

Sunday I had a hard time finding my rhythm. I did the opposite of all the training and instruction I received. I did not focus on my breathing. What an interesting metaphor for life. Everyone has their own breathing rhythm. I take my breathing rhythm for granted when I'm under the pressure of "competing" for security, promotion, acceptance from others etc.  I recognize ethat my breathing  rhythym has been off for the past month as demonstrated by Sunday's experience.

I mentioned in my last post about finding my authentic voice. I am coming to the awareness that my my authenic voice is embedded in my authentic breathing rythym. I may have cited this song before but it bears repeating here: "The race is not given, to the swift, nor to the strong but to the one who endures until the end".

Endurance is about listening for and honoring my breahting rhythm which begins by accepting all of my "perfect imperfections". I learned in graduate school about being present to the "both/and" of life.
Chinese philosophy calls the interconnection of opposites Yin and Yang. When I'm off balance and out of sync with my rhythm I experience highs and lows that are draining. I am awakening to honoring the times when I'm hopeful and when I'm hopeless. There are times when I am kind and times when I am critical. I have moments of being courageous and periods of abject fear. I am being conscuious of my breathing. I accept the exspanse and deflation of life.

In a recent FB posting I said: "Intentional aware breathing is the bridge between internal chaos and manifested peace." Brian Alman says:"Breathing,..is not all inhales or exhales, not either/or It's the union of the two that creates the flow of breath. The breath comes in and the breath goes out- you have a rhythm, and it's the rhythm that keeps you alive."

What rhythm keeps you alive?

Peace and Blessings On Your Journey

Finding my Voice

I recently had a conversation with someone about the difference between a process and a journey. As I review the journey of my life I am coming the awareness that its all about finding and nurturing my authentic voice or Trusage. This is my deep intuition, my heart's core, the ground of my being, the source of my soul. My journey was started out of pain, trauma, and loss. But rather then feel deeply into my fears, anger, and sadness I hid behind socialized expectations that have been more of a hindrance than a help.

My wife sent me a book that arrested my attention it is entitled;  The Voice: Overcome Negative Self-Talk and Discover Your inner Wisdom written by Brian Alman and Stephen Montgomery. It's about the mind-body-spirit connection of transforming unbearable pain into livable disappointment. The authors cite examples of how physical pain can be healed from the inside out.

For the past several months I have been on a journey of training for triathlons and races. As I write this entry, I am aware of moderate pain coursing through my body as a result of a grueling workout, thanks to my running Angel.  While running at 7.5 mph at an incline of 6 on route to turning "purple" she kept saying breathe engage your core. What a powerful metaphor for life! When pain is kicking your butt, breathe and engage your core!! Let me, explain.

The "negative" stress of life is caused from experiences in the past that project fear into the future robbing a person of the Power of Now. Repressed emotions like fear, sadness, anger, guilt, shame, anxiety, etc. are carried and buried in the body. Have you noticed on the Biggest Loser how a lot of weight issues are directly tied to some emotional, psychological pain of the past? I am coming to understand that physical pain or maladaptive behavior is a manifestation of deeper emotional or spiritual pain. "First things happen on the inside, and then they happen on the outside".

During my training as a CPE student I was bragging one day to my Supervisor about all the "stuff" I was doing in my life. After I finished she looked me in the eye and said: "I hear what you are saying about your success but, I noticed you gained a significant amount of weight, how is the landscape of your soul?" Her question stopped me in my tracks and forced me to examine my "innerscape".

The inner journey and writing this blog is helping me re-frame and focus transforming the "process" of weight loss and triathlon training  into the journey of weight loss and triathlon training.

Heartfelt thanks to you for reading and sharing this experience with me.

Peace & Blessings on Your Journey

Dealing with the "Chop"

I shall never forget the first time I swam in open water, in Lake Michigan. The water was cold and choppy. I was being tossed around like a rag doll. Although I could stand up at any moment I, found myself struggling against the current trying to remain calm and relaxed. The more I struggled the more anxious I became. As I began to hyperventilate I found myself swallowing more water than I was I taking in air. In those extremely nerve racking moments, that seems to last an eternity, my survival was in jeopardy!!  I began to pray: "Please Lord, don't let me drown and be swept away to Davy Jones' locker!!"

Thank God my prayers were answered !!! I am alive to tell the story!!

Life can get very choppy and turbulent. Non stop pressures and demands can make you feel confused and overwhelmed. Unable to tell up from down, we can get swept away in the tumultuous emotions of  the daily rat race. Profoundly chaotic emotions like fear, sadness, and anger, have a way of taking over our minds driving us into the depths of despair and alienation.

I am learning how to deal with the "Chop" of life. When in I find myself in troubling currents, I stop and let go of over struggling. I sense what you are thinking, "Are you freaking kidding, ME!! Stop struggling?!! Really?!! Are your serious??" "Nonsense!" "I have to keep pushing and striving, life is about struggle and sacrifice" "The harder I work and struggle the more I will obtain."

I feel you!! I hear you!! But let me ask you; "How is that working for you?"

The idea of unending struggle and heroic fight is deep within our psychic DNA. The truth is that the "Chop" of life can be like quicksand, Chinese finger trap, or a deep hole. The more you struggle, fight and dig , the more you sink, become stuck, and get in over your head unable to climb out.

Am I saying that we should never struggle and strive? Of course, not! Life is all about struggling and striving. Where I've gotten lost and bogged down, is when I think, that all there is to life is the "Chop."  

Yes, life is choppy and turbulent. Life does have moments of struggle where the future is uncertain and the results of striving seem fruitless. However, the tension filled "Chop" of life can be embraced and transcended.  The Psalmist writes: "Weeping may endure for a night but, joy comes in the morning." The question is: "What do you in the mean time when morning is a long way off , and you are in the "Chop" of life, being tossed back and forth by anger, sadness and fear right now?"

For me, I am learning to trust the Presence of the Divine within me and all around me. By staying in touch with myself I, experience the Presence who provides peace that surpasses all understanding. This empowers me to go with the flow.

When I was in Lake Michigan I had wetsuit that surround me, held me up, when I felt like I would sink. Once I trusted the buoyancy of being held and supported, I found myself floating on top of the water going with the flow of the current and swimming smarter not harder.

As I swam, supported from within and without I was able to acknowledge fear, anger, and sadness but still remain focused on experiencing gratitude, hope, and peace in spite of frustration and which transformed the "chop" into still waters. 

Peace & Blessings On Your Journey 

Serendipity

So, it's been a long while since my last entry. I was recently encouraged by my tri-swim coach and friend, Chris to share something that might be inspirational. It feels like such a tall order, to be inspirational. It's like trying to be funny as a stand-up comedian, either you or aren't.  Oh the PRESSURE!!!!


I am humbled to hear that my journey has inspired others. The encouragement to post more frequently is well received especially when I'm overwhelmed with daily demands. For all those who have read and continue to read this blog I say a heartfelt warm thank you, there are many other things you could be doing with your precious time! Truly, I'm honored that you would share with me on this journey. Let's stay connected and mutually encourage each other!!! Now, for the next installment of It's all about the journey.

Serendipity, finding something good or useful while not specially looking for it, is the word for today. Life is full of unexpected blessings that show up just when they are needed the most.  All throughout the  past few days  I've experienced various forms of serendipity.

 What in the world is Melvin rambling about now?  I'm glad you asked! Let me try to explain.

Yesterday I was trying to leave work to get to treadmill class. I had already blewn my morning workout when I woke up at 4:59am and Run Club started at 5:15 am and I live 45 minutes away.WTF!!!  (Don't worry, my Running Angel, Morgan did check up on me!!)

 Not only did I miss Run Club, I also missed the  last TRX/Kettlebell class for  this session (Sorry,  Ben!! Atomic Push-ups are waiting for me the next go around.). So, I'm at work with increasing frustration of trying to leave but not able to because  one more thing kept coming up.

 You now how it is, the more you are trying to get somewhere the more obstacles you face!!. It's like getting a fussy baby cleaned and dressed ready to walk out the door then all of sudden the baby let's their bowel and bladder go and you are late because you are cleaning up human excrement.  Every time I tried to leave, one more thing needed attention until I, had to finally put a pin in things and stop working to to get to my treadmill class.

 I get to the gym late 25 minutes after class started frustrated and uptight only to discover that class had been cancelled and the workout sheet was waiting for me, Serendipity!!! So, I start to take the elevator up one floor to get on the treadmill. Who should see me?  Nicole, my treadmill instructor ordering me to take the stairs, (She's my  drill instructor) Serendipity!!!

Half way into the speed and strength workout  I'm sprinting at 8mph 3% incline for 30sec sets. After the third set with three sets to go, my heart feeling like it was about to break through my rib cage, like the creature from Alien, I decided  to transition to the pool for the last 10 minutes of an Aqua class and the first 15 minutes of Aqua Volleyball all in preparation for 1800 meter tri-swim complete with slow to fast 50's on the 1:30.

This morning knocked out from yesterday's full day I, jumped up in time to make it to my morning appointment, feeling grateful for the experience of grace and mercy being manifested through  different people (Morgan, Nicole, Chris, and Ben) and in various ways throughout my life and career. I am becoming aware of my increased capacity to remain connected with myself while remaining open to experiencing unexpected blessings just when I need them the most.

May you experience wonderful serendipity!!

Thanks for reading!! Peace & Blessings on Your Journey!!

Another Year's Journey: Moving ahead

Happy New Year!!! As this first week of 2014 comes to a close I, am reminded of how far I have come and how far I have to go. I was asked a few days ago, "how much weight have you lost?" "What is your goal?"  My response was: 'not enough' and 'a long way off'!!

My journey of mind, spirit, and body integration is a process of slow evolution. The left side of my brain says work harder, do more, push it, keep going, no pain no gain. The right side of my brain says take it easy, relax, breathe, have fun, enjoy yourself. I seek balance between these poles.

I have lived externally, seeking approval and acceptance from others, for a significant portion of my life. Don't get me wrong, approval and acceptance are wonderful but at what price? What does it matter if I reach my goal and get pats on the back while I lose connection with myself?

When sharing  my embryonic triathlete aspirations with any who would care to listen I, have received the feedback that I am going through a mid-life crisis. While it is a strong possibility that I, may have more sunsets and sunrises behind me than I have before me, it does not negate my awareness of the journey toward integrated balance.

As a novice athlete signing up for training programs and race events I have a subscription to USA TRIATHLON and RUNNER'S WORLD. Although I look nothing like these perfect human specimens nor as fast, and my quick cadence time is their leisurely walking activity, there is something that we have in common; humility and patience.

This was made clear to me during my third leg of Winter Warrior: Triathlon edition training. The swim coach reminded us that some may be stronger runners (7 minute mile), others may have Breaking Away committed to memory especially the scene were the cyclist chases down a semi going 60 miles an hour, and still others may swim faster than Mark Phelps and Aquaman combined,
but, the triathlon teaches humility and patience.

I read an article by Jeff Matlow entitled: MY MID-TRI CRISIS were he finds life lessons from his twenty years of participating in the sport. He comes from a running background and loves to rack up mileage. I don't like running, the pounding and pain is at times more than I can bare.He hates the monotony of swimming back and forth. For me I find swimming to be relaxing, except when I am worrying about sinking and drowning on a side kick drill but, I digress. We share a similar ambivalence about biking that at times it's a "mindless slog".

So, why do I put my body through hours of P.T. (physical torture)? It would be much easier to sleep, and to eat whatever I want when I want. What is the pay off for me? Humility and patience. Jeff Matlow shared his three life lessons that I am incorporating and tailoring to fit me.

1. Slow is smooth, smooth is fast.

I am learning to embrace the slow and smooth motions of the exercises. As I focus on controlled deliberate moments I am reminded to breathe and feel into the current of the water, the road underneath me and the rhythm of my stride. As I learn to slow down and pace I experience the sensation of motionless flight. This is helpful in my life to reach a place of acceptance and commitment. 

2. Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.

This truth resonates deeply within me. I have had my fair share of heartache and pain in my life. I know what it is to be the object of ridicule and meanness. I have experienced the pain of an unhealthy lifestyle. I know the pain of loneliness, fear and depression. We don't get out of life without pain, trauma, and brokenness. Pain is inevitable more ways than one but, psychological suffering is a choice. Quieting the mind and opening the soul is the key powerful and trans-formative re-framing.

3. It's not about the time it takes to get from the start to the finish, It's about the time you have in between.


I was recently asked if I were an animal what would I be. I responded that I would a tortoise. My friends were choosing "sexy" animals like lion, panther, eagle, bear.." I was the only one that said tortoise. The tortoise is weathered by the storms and seasons of eons yet and with humility and patience endures the ravages of time. The tortoise's shell can withstand extreme pressures while remaining soft and pliable on the inside. A tortoise is always present to where they were "slow walking down" the faster animals. There is song that says: The race is not given to the swift nor to the strong but to the one that endures until the end. I am beginning 2014 with these life lessons articulated in a poem by Rudyard Kipling:

If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs and blaming it on you; If, you can trust yourself when all men doubt you but make allowance for their doubting too; If you can wait and not be tired by waiting, or being lied about don't deal in lies, or being hated don't give way to hating, and yet don't look to good nor talk to wise.

If you can dream -and not make dreams your master-, if you can think-but not make thoughts your aim; if you can meet with Triumph and Disaster, and those two impostors just the same; if you bear to hear the truth you've spoken, twisted by knaves to a trap for fools, or watch the things you gave your life to, broken, and stoop and build'em with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings and risk it on one turn of pitch and toss, and lose, and start again at your beginnings and never breathe a word about your loss; if you can force your heart, and nerve, and sinew to serve their turn long after they are gone, and so hold on when there is nothing in you except the Will which says to them "hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue, or walk with kings-nor lose the common touch, if neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you; if all men count with you, but none too much, if you can fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds of distance run, Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it, and-which is more- you'll be a Man my Son!