"Rise and shine it's 6am and your hand can't make it to the alarm clock before the voices in your head start telling you that it's too early, too dark, and too cold to get out of bed...aching muscles lie still in rebellion pretending not to hear your brain commanding them to move. A legion of voices are shouting their unanimous permission for you to hit the snooze button and go back to dreamland. But, you didn't ask their opinion the voice you've chosen to listen too is the one of defiance. The voice that says there is reason you set that alarm in the first place so, sit up, put your feet on the floor and don't look back because we've got work to do...Welcome to the grind!
For what is each day but a series of conflicts between the right way and the easy way. Ten thousand streams fan out like a river delta before you each one promising the path of least resistance but the thing is your headed up stream, and when you make that choice and you decide to turn your back on what's comfortable, safe and what some might call common sense.. well that's day one, from there it only gets tougher...."
These are the opening words to a motivational video Rise and Shine: Welcome to the Grind. As I reflect back over the past year...a lot has happened since my last post in 2014. From my injury to not racing at all this this year. Facing my failures is not pretty. I'm guessing that who ever has read my musings may have already forgotten about this amateur blog. The struggle is real but, I'm still on the journey.
Starting over is never easy. In fact it is painfully difficult. Legions of voices are shouting their "unanimous permission" for me to stay stuck in the shadow land. Every day is about choice. What will I choose in this moment to prepare me for tomorrow? Will I choose the right or the easy way? I choose the right way! There is a Proverb that says: Fall down seven times, stand up eight.
This is me standing up and starting over.
Peace and Blessings on Your Journey
Tuesday, November 3, 2015
Wednesday, December 31, 2014
Change
As 2014 comes to an end and 2015 is about to make it's entrance onto the stage of history, I am reminded of a quote: "Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does." William James
The end of one year and the beginning of the next evokes thoughts about change i.e. resolutions.
I resolve to make changes in my life, stop doing this, start doing that hoping that my "will power" is strong enough to succeed in keeping my resolutions. Alas, I discover all too soon how fragile my "will power" really is. I am a creature of habit resistant to change but, change I must. It is one thing thing to have insight it is something else to integrate that insight into sustained behavioral change.
George Benson puts it beautifully:
The end of one year and the beginning of the next evokes thoughts about change i.e. resolutions.
I resolve to make changes in my life, stop doing this, start doing that hoping that my "will power" is strong enough to succeed in keeping my resolutions. Alas, I discover all too soon how fragile my "will power" really is. I am a creature of habit resistant to change but, change I must. It is one thing thing to have insight it is something else to integrate that insight into sustained behavioral change.
George Benson puts it beautifully:
Everything must change
Nothing stays the same
Everyone must change
No one stays the same
Nothing stays the same
Everyone must change
No one stays the same
The young become the old
And mysteries do unfold
Cause that's the way of time
Nothing and no one goes unchanged
And mysteries do unfold
Cause that's the way of time
Nothing and no one goes unchanged
There are not many things in life
You can be sure of
Except rain comes from the clouds
Sun lights up the sky
And hummingbirds do fly
You can be sure of
Except rain comes from the clouds
Sun lights up the sky
And hummingbirds do fly
Winter turns to spring
A wounded heart will heal
But never much too soon
Yes everything must change
But never much too soon
Yes everything must change
The young become the old
And mysteries do unfold
Cause that's the way of time
Nothing and no one goes unchanged
And mysteries do unfold
Cause that's the way of time
Nothing and no one goes unchanged
There are not many things in life
You can be sure of
Except rain comes from the clouds
Sun lights up the sky
And butterflies do fly
You can be sure of
Except rain comes from the clouds
Sun lights up the sky
And butterflies do fly
As I enter the next season of triathlon training I am mindful of growing inner change to sustain healthy external change during the next chapter of my journey. I'm empowered to "run on to see what the end is gonna be..."
HAPPY NEW YEAR
Peace & Blessing on Your Journey
Monday, November 24, 2014
Moving through the winter season
Yesterday, I was blessed to complete an in-door Tri 10 minute swim, 20 minute bike and 20 minute run with a group of wonderful athletes, coaches, and support staff. The experience taught me some valuable lessons.
I was reminded once again on how self-critical I can be. My internal judge and critic were working over time trying to negate my accomplishment. I am now growing in my awareness to take internal and external feedback in stride examining the truth of the matter from a subjective/objective perspective.
Could I have swam more efficiently? Yes, of course! However, I was able to use my survival skills, changing up my stroke, rolling, over, etc., to calm down gain control thereby avoiding drowning!! This will be extremely helpful when I tackle Lake Michigan and other open water bodies next season. Could I have biked harder and got more power wattage output per pedal stroke? Absolutely!! I did keep my RPM's between 90 and 100 for 95 percent of the ride. A future compu training class will help me gain speed, endurance, and power! Could I have sprinted and ran faster on each lap? Heck yes!!! However, I finished strong with energy to spare, engaging my core and "squeezing the quarter" will help my running form.
The biggest lesson I learned was about pain. Finding, the motivation for working through physical discomfort. A quote from "G.I. Jane" always comes to mind: "Pain is your friend, it tell you if you seriously injured and remind you to do the job and get the hell home!...But, you know the best apart pain...No Master Chief...It LETS YOU KNOW YOU'RE NOT DEAD YET!!"
Is training hard" It sure is!! Is it painful? More I can care for it to be!! I am learning to tell the difference between being hurt and injured. If I'm hurting I can and will push through it! When I'm seriously injured I will seek medical assistance. I am coming to realize that pain is the crucible where the soul is forged.
This winter season is a painful one for me on many levels. It is easy for me to retreat into the silence of pain. My ability to force my heart, nerve, and sinew to serve their long after they are gone and hold on when there is nothing left in me except the will which says to them hold on; is what motivates me to fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run. How I move through this winter season, not running from or suppressing my pain but, rather embracing and befriending the difficult moments and grief memories will invite to stay connected to me as I swim, bike, and run into sustained recovery.
Will I ever "win" a race? Walter D Wintle provides me with the inspiration to undergird my motivation. He writes:
If you think you are beaten, you are;
If you think you dare not, you don't.
If you'd like to win, but think you can't
It's almost a cinch you won't.
If you think you'll lose, you've lost,
For out in the world we find
Success being with a fellow's will;
It's all in the state of mind.
If you think you're outclassed, you are:
You've got to think high to rise.
You've got to be sure of yourself before
You can ever win a prize.
Life's battles don't always go
To the stronger or faster man,
But soon or late the man who wins
Is the one who thinks he can.
Peace & Blessings on Your Journey
I was reminded once again on how self-critical I can be. My internal judge and critic were working over time trying to negate my accomplishment. I am now growing in my awareness to take internal and external feedback in stride examining the truth of the matter from a subjective/objective perspective.
Could I have swam more efficiently? Yes, of course! However, I was able to use my survival skills, changing up my stroke, rolling, over, etc., to calm down gain control thereby avoiding drowning!! This will be extremely helpful when I tackle Lake Michigan and other open water bodies next season. Could I have biked harder and got more power wattage output per pedal stroke? Absolutely!! I did keep my RPM's between 90 and 100 for 95 percent of the ride. A future compu training class will help me gain speed, endurance, and power! Could I have sprinted and ran faster on each lap? Heck yes!!! However, I finished strong with energy to spare, engaging my core and "squeezing the quarter" will help my running form.
The biggest lesson I learned was about pain. Finding, the motivation for working through physical discomfort. A quote from "G.I. Jane" always comes to mind: "Pain is your friend, it tell you if you seriously injured and remind you to do the job and get the hell home!...But, you know the best apart pain...No Master Chief...It LETS YOU KNOW YOU'RE NOT DEAD YET!!"
Is training hard" It sure is!! Is it painful? More I can care for it to be!! I am learning to tell the difference between being hurt and injured. If I'm hurting I can and will push through it! When I'm seriously injured I will seek medical assistance. I am coming to realize that pain is the crucible where the soul is forged.
This winter season is a painful one for me on many levels. It is easy for me to retreat into the silence of pain. My ability to force my heart, nerve, and sinew to serve their long after they are gone and hold on when there is nothing left in me except the will which says to them hold on; is what motivates me to fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run. How I move through this winter season, not running from or suppressing my pain but, rather embracing and befriending the difficult moments and grief memories will invite to stay connected to me as I swim, bike, and run into sustained recovery.
Will I ever "win" a race? Walter D Wintle provides me with the inspiration to undergird my motivation. He writes:
If you think you are beaten, you are;
If you think you dare not, you don't.
If you'd like to win, but think you can't
It's almost a cinch you won't.
If you think you'll lose, you've lost,
For out in the world we find
Success being with a fellow's will;
It's all in the state of mind.
If you think you're outclassed, you are:
You've got to think high to rise.
You've got to be sure of yourself before
You can ever win a prize.
Life's battles don't always go
To the stronger or faster man,
But soon or late the man who wins
Is the one who thinks he can.
Peace & Blessings on Your Journey
Thursday, November 20, 2014
A funny thing happened on the way...
So, this morning I wake up in what I thought would be enough time to make it to the gym for a Run Club class. For some reason the time got away from me. I just lost track of time. As I'm headed out the door I realized that by the time I made it through traffic, parked in the gym lot, put my stuff in the locker, Run Club would be 80 percent finished. Normally, I would have jumped in the car trying to make it to class, feeling angry and frustrated the entire ride then arriving late missing the workout. So, in that split second I decided to forego the long drive and go for a brisk walk/ light jog.
The weather was cold but, not too cold to get a mile and some change in. On the final stretch home I hear somebody call my name it was neighbor who is a member of a workout team I belong to. She was on her way to spin class. I almost went to that class but decided to do some toning and strengthening at home. When I got to work I checked my email and discovered that I may have signed up for Half Iron Man training (which is way beyond my current abilities!!) actually, I meant to sign up for a different training program! I was about to give in to frustration and disappointment but I was reminded of this poem:
When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit-
Rest if you must, but don't you quit.
Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a fellow turns about
When he might have won had he stuck it out.
Don't give up though the pace seems slow -
You may succeed with another blow.
Often the goal is nearer than
It seems to a faint and faltering man;
Often the struggler has given up
When he might have captured the victor's cup;
And he learned too late when the night came down,
How close he was to the golden crown.
Success is failure turned inside out -
The silver tint in the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It might be near when it seems afar;
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit -
It's when things seem worst that you must not quit.
The Journey Continues..
The weather was cold but, not too cold to get a mile and some change in. On the final stretch home I hear somebody call my name it was neighbor who is a member of a workout team I belong to. She was on her way to spin class. I almost went to that class but decided to do some toning and strengthening at home. When I got to work I checked my email and discovered that I may have signed up for Half Iron Man training (which is way beyond my current abilities!!) actually, I meant to sign up for a different training program! I was about to give in to frustration and disappointment but I was reminded of this poem:
When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
The Journey Continues..
Wednesday, November 19, 2014
Starting over
It is difficult to believe that my last entry was Sept. 2, 2014!! Time truly keeps on slipping into the future! The past three months have seen setbacks and failures. I am reminded of my fledgling attempts to learn how to bike, ski, and rollerskate. Each fall more painful than the last. There is a cultural wisdom proverb that says: "You fall down seven times, you stand up eight." So, this entry is me, standing back up after falling down and staying down for over three months.
I was reading this morning the Greek myth of Theseus, Ariadne, the Labyrinth, and the Minotaur. Theseus' journey home was through the Labyrinth at the dark center was the Minotaur waiting to devour him. Theseus conqured the Minotaur but, needed a way out of the darkness into the light. He had a life line that Ariadne gave him which he unwound as he got deeper and deeper into the maze. Theseus followed the tow line through the dark Labyrinth until he broke through to the light on the other side.
I was asked today why am I preparing to engage in Half Iron-Man training? After my last showing in the Chicago Half Marathon and International distance triathlon I have no logical reason to sign up for a Half Iron Marathon, yet here I am signing up after having such a poor performance my last two races..
The motivation (drive) and inspiration (draw) to train and race comes and goes like the waves of choppy water. I am coming to realize the importance of embracing and befriending the ebb and flow into the Labyrinth and the way out.
My goal is to be present to my pain while training, and to learn from my multiple dimensions. There is a poem that resonates within my soul:
The test of Man is the fight that he makes. The grit he daily shows, the way he stands upon his feet and takes life's numerous bumps and blows. A coward can smile when there's naught to fear and nothing his progress bars. But, it takes a man to stand and cheer while the other fellow stars. It isn't the victory after all but, the fight a brother makes. A man when driven against the wall, still stands erect with his head held high, bleeding bruised, and pale is the man who will win and fate deified because he isn't afraid to fail.
The Journey Begins Anew
I was reading this morning the Greek myth of Theseus, Ariadne, the Labyrinth, and the Minotaur. Theseus' journey home was through the Labyrinth at the dark center was the Minotaur waiting to devour him. Theseus conqured the Minotaur but, needed a way out of the darkness into the light. He had a life line that Ariadne gave him which he unwound as he got deeper and deeper into the maze. Theseus followed the tow line through the dark Labyrinth until he broke through to the light on the other side.
I was asked today why am I preparing to engage in Half Iron-Man training? After my last showing in the Chicago Half Marathon and International distance triathlon I have no logical reason to sign up for a Half Iron Marathon, yet here I am signing up after having such a poor performance my last two races..
The motivation (drive) and inspiration (draw) to train and race comes and goes like the waves of choppy water. I am coming to realize the importance of embracing and befriending the ebb and flow into the Labyrinth and the way out.
My goal is to be present to my pain while training, and to learn from my multiple dimensions. There is a poem that resonates within my soul:
The test of Man is the fight that he makes. The grit he daily shows, the way he stands upon his feet and takes life's numerous bumps and blows. A coward can smile when there's naught to fear and nothing his progress bars. But, it takes a man to stand and cheer while the other fellow stars. It isn't the victory after all but, the fight a brother makes. A man when driven against the wall, still stands erect with his head held high, bleeding bruised, and pale is the man who will win and fate deified because he isn't afraid to fail.
The Journey Begins Anew
Tuesday, September 2, 2014
Next Chapter
As I look back over the year I can truly say I've been blessed. There were some disappointments and moments of victory. I've cried and laughed. There were times when I was focused and periods when I was foggy. I am aware of the ebb and flow of life that has carried me this far on the journey.
There have been times when I've been so overwhelmed and other times when I've experienced pure grace. The next chapter in my life is beginning. I am receptive to teachers and faith filled companions along the way.
I recently posted on Facebook: "Transforming form requires awakened consciousness, intentionality is the foundation of sustainable change" Every day I excerise and experience healthy nutrition I am being intentional about transforming my existence from the inside out..
I was intentional about getting 3 miles brisk walk/jog in and I felt much better after it was over. There is an exciting opportunity with a new Swim training team.
I have much to learn and experience in preparation for the Half IronMan. So, time for sleep to rest for the next evolution/revolution.
Peace & Blessings on your journey.
There have been times when I've been so overwhelmed and other times when I've experienced pure grace. The next chapter in my life is beginning. I am receptive to teachers and faith filled companions along the way.
I recently posted on Facebook: "Transforming form requires awakened consciousness, intentionality is the foundation of sustainable change" Every day I excerise and experience healthy nutrition I am being intentional about transforming my existence from the inside out..
I was intentional about getting 3 miles brisk walk/jog in and I felt much better after it was over. There is an exciting opportunity with a new Swim training team.
I have much to learn and experience in preparation for the Half IronMan. So, time for sleep to rest for the next evolution/revolution.
Peace & Blessings on your journey.
Friday, August 22, 2014
Into the Center
So, the Chicago Triathlon International distance (1 mile swim, 24 mile bike, 6.2 mile run) is coming up in less than three days. In earlier posts I raised the question why I would do this kind of endurance event at my age and size? What point I'm I trying to prove? To whom am I trying to prove that point? Why am I trying to prove a point at all?
I am coming to the awareness that I struggle with the idea of getting a DNF (Did Not Finish) and pushing through until the end. I am becoming increasingly aware that the goal is to experience my subjective self as I swim, bike, and run. The risk of injury is always lurking in the shadows however, finding the balance between pushing my body and knowing when to stop is the awareness of internal and external connection as I leap into the halo of my core and experience awakened presence.
I see myself reaching and pulling through the water, breathing deeply and fully, alternating between relaxed and hard strokes, conserving and expending energy with each reach and pull. Coming out of the water I see myself warmed up and ready to ride. As I mount the bike I feel the activation of my quadriceps and hamstrings (one day I'll use clips to get an efficient pedal stroke.) As I dismount from the bike I feel the heavyness of my legs as I shift my weight for the walk/run.
As I stay in touch with Me, I will finish strong and complete. I am grateful for family and friends who are with me on the journey. A week after the race I will celebrate the completion of one chapter in my life and the dawn of another.
For those who have read this blog may you experience the center of your soul.
Peace & Blessings On Your Journey
I am coming to the awareness that I struggle with the idea of getting a DNF (Did Not Finish) and pushing through until the end. I am becoming increasingly aware that the goal is to experience my subjective self as I swim, bike, and run. The risk of injury is always lurking in the shadows however, finding the balance between pushing my body and knowing when to stop is the awareness of internal and external connection as I leap into the halo of my core and experience awakened presence.
I see myself reaching and pulling through the water, breathing deeply and fully, alternating between relaxed and hard strokes, conserving and expending energy with each reach and pull. Coming out of the water I see myself warmed up and ready to ride. As I mount the bike I feel the activation of my quadriceps and hamstrings (one day I'll use clips to get an efficient pedal stroke.) As I dismount from the bike I feel the heavyness of my legs as I shift my weight for the walk/run.
As I stay in touch with Me, I will finish strong and complete. I am grateful for family and friends who are with me on the journey. A week after the race I will celebrate the completion of one chapter in my life and the dawn of another.
For those who have read this blog may you experience the center of your soul.
Peace & Blessings On Your Journey
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