Happy New Year!!! As this first week of 2014 comes to a close I, am reminded of how far I have come and how far I have to go. I was asked a few days ago, "how much weight have you lost?" "What is your goal?" My response was: 'not enough' and 'a long way off'!!
My journey of mind, spirit, and body integration is a process of slow evolution. The left side of my brain says work harder, do more, push it, keep going, no pain no gain. The right side of my brain says take it easy, relax, breathe, have fun, enjoy yourself. I seek balance between these poles.
I have lived externally, seeking approval and acceptance from others, for a significant portion of my life. Don't get me wrong, approval and acceptance are wonderful but at what price? What does it matter if I reach my goal and get pats on the back while I lose connection with myself?
When sharing my embryonic triathlete aspirations with any who would care to listen I, have received the feedback that I am going through a mid-life crisis. While it is a strong possibility that I, may have more sunsets and sunrises behind me than I have before me, it does not negate my awareness of the journey toward integrated balance.
As a novice athlete signing up for training programs and race events I have a subscription to USA TRIATHLON and RUNNER'S WORLD. Although I look nothing like these perfect human specimens nor as fast, and my quick cadence time is their leisurely walking activity, there is something that we have in common; humility and patience.
This was made clear to me during my third leg of Winter Warrior: Triathlon edition training. The swim coach reminded us that some may be stronger runners (7 minute mile), others may have Breaking Away committed to memory especially the scene were the cyclist chases down a semi going 60 miles an hour, and still others may swim faster than Mark Phelps and Aquaman combined,
but, the triathlon teaches humility and patience.
I read an article by Jeff Matlow entitled: MY MID-TRI CRISIS were he finds life lessons from his twenty years of participating in the sport. He comes from a running background and loves to rack up mileage. I don't like running, the pounding and pain is at times more than I can bare.He hates the monotony of swimming back and forth. For me I find swimming to be relaxing, except when I am worrying about sinking and drowning on a side kick drill but, I digress. We share a similar ambivalence about biking that at times it's a "mindless slog".
So, why do I put my body through hours of P.T. (physical torture)? It would be much easier to sleep, and to eat whatever I want when I want. What is the pay off for me? Humility and patience. Jeff Matlow shared his three life lessons that I am incorporating and tailoring to fit me.
1. Slow is smooth, smooth is fast.
I am learning to embrace the slow and smooth motions of the exercises. As I focus on controlled deliberate moments I am reminded to breathe and feel into the current of the water, the road underneath me and the rhythm of my stride. As I learn to slow down and pace I experience the sensation of motionless flight. This is helpful in my life to reach a place of acceptance and commitment.
2. Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.
This truth resonates deeply within me. I have had my fair share of heartache and pain in my life. I know what it is to be the object of ridicule and meanness. I have experienced the pain of an unhealthy lifestyle. I know the pain of loneliness, fear and depression. We don't get out of life without pain, trauma, and brokenness. Pain is inevitable more ways than one but, psychological suffering is a choice. Quieting the mind and opening the soul is the key powerful and trans-formative re-framing.
3. It's not about the time it takes to get from the start to the finish, It's about the time you have in between.
I was recently asked if I were an animal what would I be. I responded that I would a tortoise. My friends were choosing "sexy" animals like lion, panther, eagle, bear.." I was the only one that said tortoise. The tortoise is weathered by the storms and seasons of eons yet and with humility and patience endures the ravages of time. The tortoise's shell can withstand extreme pressures while remaining soft and pliable on the inside. A tortoise is always present to where they were "slow walking down" the faster animals. There is song that says: The race is not given to the swift nor to the strong but to the one that endures until the end. I am beginning 2014 with these life lessons articulated in a poem by Rudyard Kipling:
If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs and blaming it on you; If, you can trust yourself when all men doubt you but make allowance for their doubting too; If you can wait and not be tired by waiting, or being lied about don't deal in lies, or being hated don't give way to hating, and yet don't look to good nor talk to wise.
If you can dream -and not make dreams your master-, if you can think-but not make thoughts your aim; if you can meet with Triumph and Disaster, and those two impostors just the same; if you bear to hear the truth you've spoken, twisted by knaves to a trap for fools, or watch the things you gave your life to, broken, and stoop and build'em with worn-out tools:
If you can make one heap of all your winnings and risk it on one turn of pitch and toss, and lose, and start again at your beginnings and never breathe a word about your loss; if you can force your heart, and nerve, and sinew to serve their turn long after they are gone, and so hold on when there is nothing in you except the Will which says to them "hold on!"
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue, or walk with kings-nor lose the common touch, if neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you; if all men count with you, but none too much, if you can fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds of distance run, Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it, and-which is more- you'll be a Man my Son!
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