Decisions, Decisions...

There comes a point on every journey when decisions have to be made; give up, turn around, stay still, change direction, or press on. I have reached a decision point in my journey like Red in the Shawshank Redemption: "Get busy living or get busy dying....that's goddamn right!"

I can choose to be in permanent funk about my set backs or I can choose to accept them and move forward. My worth and value as a human being is not determined by a number on the scale, or the size suit I wear, the condition of my body, the firmness of my muscles, the flexibility of my limbs, or the time of my swim, bike, and run.

On any given day the scale will report that  I either gained weight, lost weight, or maintained my weight. Is it disappointing after working really hard to see a weight gain? Hell yes!! Is it frustrating not to reach and maintain a 11 minute mile? Damn skippy!! Is it humiliating and embarrassing to have a bike chain come off and break during a baby incline? Of course it is! Is it tiring to reach and pull on every stroke only to feel like I'm going nowhere fast? You better believe it!! Immediately I say to myself WTF!!! Then I begin down the road of self-negation...I'm not good enough...I'll never be fit and trim..Might as well stop and give up.. What's the point? But, I realize I can either throw a pity party or move forward one step at a time. I have a decision to make: "Get busy living or get busy dying?"

My Run Club coach gave me a power article to read about Matthew Long, the New York firefighter, triathlete, adrenaline junkie, ladies man, all around life of the party who had had to learn how to live again after being impaled and crushed by 20-ton bus while riding his bike on his way to a training. By the end of his story I was in tears. His goal was to run a 26.2 miles with one leg shorter than the other, mangled hammer toes, and a titanium rod in his leg. He had decisions to make all through his 40 surguries, extensive rehab, and painful training. The day of the marathon he decisions to make "do I quit or keep going?" He was fortunate to have buddies that pushed him when he needed and supported him when he reached his limit and encouraged him when he was down. In the end he had a decision to make "Get busy living or get busy dying? That's goddamn right!"



The spirit of Invictus (William Ernest Henly) is encouraging me to stay the course at this decision making moment in my life:

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced or cried aloud
Under the bludeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how straight the gait,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate
I am the captain of my soul.

What decisions do you need to make?

If you took time to read this feel free to leave a comment.

Peace & Blessings on Your Journey