It has been said: "Don't burn your bridges you never know when you will need to cross over them again."
I am discovering that my journey has a cyclic nature. Milestones that I've passed are re-emerging as well as obstacles that I thought I mastered.
I am aware of the ebb and flow of my journey. On this return trip, my senses are heightened with a mixed feeling of uncertainty and excitement.
Staying connected in the present without living in the past and worrying about the future is a robust and daunting enterprise.
Acceptance of anxiety and frustration while remaining committed to transformation is the essence of growth and spiritual maturity.
I am blessed with companions, teachers, and friends on my path that enable me to remain engaged in the process of living life from the inside out rather than the outside in. This is my awareness as I return to familiar bridges and crossroads.
My uncle, Johnnie (peace to his memory) once told me about the optimal distance of keeping me eye on goals I set for myself.
If my objective is too close I will be blinded by it and miss the enjoyment and beauty of life. If my objective is too far ahead I will become disheartened and not appreciate where I am or how far I've come.
I once read that the secret to winning an Ironman is not getting too high on the abundance of excitement or burst of adrenaline at the beginning of the race nor getting too low when every cell in your body is screaming in rebellion to quit because you are going to die.
The key to finishing is one step, one stroke, one pedal at a time.
As I revisit this deep truth, it's time to run my run because it's fun until its done.
Peace & Blessings on Your Journey.
Tuesday, December 10, 2013
Saturday, November 30, 2013
Alternative Routes
Alternative routes are time consuming and tedious but they can you to places where you would have not gone otherwise. Along the way you make discoveries that would have been missed had you not taken that path. The paths we take in life lead us into the undiscovered territory of our interior landscape.
Two years ago, I began a journey of weight loss because of a million dollar challenge. At that time I, was emotionally and mentally operating on auto pilot. I was sleep walking through my through my life. My weight was climbing out of control. I figured a million dollar challenge was the motivation I needed to do something about it.
.
I did not win the challenge, RATS!!
However, I took an alternative route toward sustained behavioral change. This time consuming and tedious alternative route has exposed me to places, events, and people that I would not have experienced otherwise.
I was walk/jogging yesterday around the periphery of a shopping complex and discovered that I don't need perfect conditions and locations to get exercise in. I did my own make shift 5k course in 45minutes. Two years ago it would have taken me well over a hour and a half to traverse that same distance.Yesterday I did 30 minute strength training and one hour Reformer Pilate's. Two years ago that would not have happened.
Alternative Routes, although time consuming and tedious, are often blessings in disguise.
I am grateful for the people I've meet, the friends I've made, and the self discoveries I've experienced
on my alternative route.
Peace & Blessings on Your Journey
Two years ago, I began a journey of weight loss because of a million dollar challenge. At that time I, was emotionally and mentally operating on auto pilot. I was sleep walking through my through my life. My weight was climbing out of control. I figured a million dollar challenge was the motivation I needed to do something about it.
.
I did not win the challenge, RATS!!
However, I took an alternative route toward sustained behavioral change. This time consuming and tedious alternative route has exposed me to places, events, and people that I would not have experienced otherwise.
I was walk/jogging yesterday around the periphery of a shopping complex and discovered that I don't need perfect conditions and locations to get exercise in. I did my own make shift 5k course in 45minutes. Two years ago it would have taken me well over a hour and a half to traverse that same distance.Yesterday I did 30 minute strength training and one hour Reformer Pilate's. Two years ago that would not have happened.
Alternative Routes, although time consuming and tedious, are often blessings in disguise.
I am grateful for the people I've meet, the friends I've made, and the self discoveries I've experienced
on my alternative route.
Peace & Blessings on Your Journey
Wednesday, November 27, 2013
Crossing borders
It's been a while since I last posted. So here's a little something for those may have thought I stopped.
As the year comes to an end and preparations begin for the next, I am reminded to pause and breath.
I can so far ahead of myself with grand plans and lofty goals that I forget to breath and ground myself.
Some years ago I was blessed to experience a water, breath, sound meditation exercise that helped me focus. I have not done these exercises for quite sometime but, I found them to be helpful a way to open to the journey within.
The journey within is about crossing borders into unknown territory. Moving past barriers that block my creativity, my happiness, my love. There are external and internal voices telling me what I can and can not do, what I can and can not be, what I can and can not have. But, I am moving past those voices to live my life free of domestication.
As I prepare for next year's race season I sense an invitation to explore why I am doing all this training for races and endurance events? Why not just sit back take life as it comes and not challenge myself? Life has enough challenges why, add to it? These are good questions to ponder.
When I was watching Dancing the Stars there was well portioned sister that was dancing her heart out giving her competition a run for the money!! There was a star with brain cancer dancing with grace and determination!! They tapped into something deep within.
Next year I will be racing in several major races one half marathon, maybe two. Two Olympic Triathlons 1,500m swim, a 40km bike and 10km run one with a team the other solo. A ten mile race and several 5k's. And a sprint Triathlon or two thrown in for flavor. My take away from the motivational video is this quote:
"I am a lion in a field of lions all hunting the same elusive prey with a desperate starvation that says victory is the only thing that will keep me alive."
I will see you at the border crossing :)
Peace & Blessings on Your Journey
As the year comes to an end and preparations begin for the next, I am reminded to pause and breath.
I can so far ahead of myself with grand plans and lofty goals that I forget to breath and ground myself.
Some years ago I was blessed to experience a water, breath, sound meditation exercise that helped me focus. I have not done these exercises for quite sometime but, I found them to be helpful a way to open to the journey within.
The journey within is about crossing borders into unknown territory. Moving past barriers that block my creativity, my happiness, my love. There are external and internal voices telling me what I can and can not do, what I can and can not be, what I can and can not have. But, I am moving past those voices to live my life free of domestication.
As I prepare for next year's race season I sense an invitation to explore why I am doing all this training for races and endurance events? Why not just sit back take life as it comes and not challenge myself? Life has enough challenges why, add to it? These are good questions to ponder.
When I was watching Dancing the Stars there was well portioned sister that was dancing her heart out giving her competition a run for the money!! There was a star with brain cancer dancing with grace and determination!! They tapped into something deep within.
Next year I will be racing in several major races one half marathon, maybe two. Two Olympic Triathlons 1,500m swim, a 40km bike and 10km run one with a team the other solo. A ten mile race and several 5k's. And a sprint Triathlon or two thrown in for flavor. My take away from the motivational video is this quote:
"I am a lion in a field of lions all hunting the same elusive prey with a desperate starvation that says victory is the only thing that will keep me alive."
I will see you at the border crossing :)
Peace & Blessings on Your Journey
Friday, November 15, 2013
Facing down obstacles
It is said: "that what is in you will come out of you". Today my trainer wanted me to try "box jumps" (vertically jumping onto a platform just shy of 12 inches high).
At first glance, I thought to myself: "there is no way I'm going to jump that high" "I'm going to fall flat on my face!!"
F.E.A.R. (False Evidence Appearing Real) is a powerful force. But, once on the other side of it you experience F.A.I.T.H (Full Assurance Invoking Transformative Healing)
Did I fall? You better believe it!! But, I shook it off and got back up. The ability to get back up comes from the source of peace and power that resides deep within. As I cleared my mind and focused on engaging my core I was able to do three sets of box jumps each jump stronger than the last.
As 2014 approaches I am facing the F.E.A.R of: three half marathons, the Solider Field Ten mile, two international distance triathlons, and a couple of triathlon sprints and 5ks thrown in for flavour. Yet, as I begin Winter Warrior Training (Triathlon edition) I am open to increasing my F.A.I.T.H
Moving from F.E.A.R to F.A.I.T.H is a process of increasing what fuels my soul and decreasing what doesn't.
It is my hearts intention that you do the same.
Peace & Blessings on Your Journey..
At first glance, I thought to myself: "there is no way I'm going to jump that high" "I'm going to fall flat on my face!!"
F.E.A.R. (False Evidence Appearing Real) is a powerful force. But, once on the other side of it you experience F.A.I.T.H (Full Assurance Invoking Transformative Healing)
Did I fall? You better believe it!! But, I shook it off and got back up. The ability to get back up comes from the source of peace and power that resides deep within. As I cleared my mind and focused on engaging my core I was able to do three sets of box jumps each jump stronger than the last.
As 2014 approaches I am facing the F.E.A.R of: three half marathons, the Solider Field Ten mile, two international distance triathlons, and a couple of triathlon sprints and 5ks thrown in for flavour. Yet, as I begin Winter Warrior Training (Triathlon edition) I am open to increasing my F.A.I.T.H
Moving from F.E.A.R to F.A.I.T.H is a process of increasing what fuels my soul and decreasing what doesn't.
It is my hearts intention that you do the same.
Peace & Blessings on Your Journey..
Thursday, November 14, 2013
Hidden Blessings
So, I'm running late in getting to the gym. I get here and discover that I don't have my swimsuit to put on after my treadmill class. Oh, crap! Now what?
The original plan was to do the treadmill class, get in a swim and aqua volleyball, then finish up with core workout class to prepare for the holiday season. A few years ago I would have had an all or nothing mindset, gone home frustrated, and ate something heavy while sulking in front of the television, nodding off to zombie land!!! Not a pretty picture people!!!!
That was then, this is now!
I realize that all or nothing thinking does not help me on my journey. Things always seem to happen to throw my schedule and plans off track. (I can't believe I missed almost two weeks of treadmill classes..what in the word was I thinking?) But, I am growing in my awareness to adapt and overcome.
I accept my frustrations and anxieties while being committed to honoring my vows to myself. I discovered today that the word "marry" is a nautical term that means interweaving two pieces of rope to make a stronger bond.
So I interweave my heart with my mind, my body with my spirit, my frustrations with my acceptance emerging into a stronger me on the inside and out as I cherish and love myself.
I encourage you Cherish, yourself!! Love yourself!!
Growth is insight with sustained behavioral change. Live in the present and remain open to the possibilities all around you. You never know what opportunities may present themselves.
As a result of not having my swimsuit I worked out harder in treadmill class. Afterward, while I trying to control my breathing, I shared that I had a lot of time on my hands before my next class so I, was invited to share my story with a class of people just starting their journey.
I am truly humbled and honored if my journey can bless others on theirs.
Peace & Blessings On Your Journey
The original plan was to do the treadmill class, get in a swim and aqua volleyball, then finish up with core workout class to prepare for the holiday season. A few years ago I would have had an all or nothing mindset, gone home frustrated, and ate something heavy while sulking in front of the television, nodding off to zombie land!!! Not a pretty picture people!!!!
That was then, this is now!
I realize that all or nothing thinking does not help me on my journey. Things always seem to happen to throw my schedule and plans off track. (I can't believe I missed almost two weeks of treadmill classes..what in the word was I thinking?) But, I am growing in my awareness to adapt and overcome.
I accept my frustrations and anxieties while being committed to honoring my vows to myself. I discovered today that the word "marry" is a nautical term that means interweaving two pieces of rope to make a stronger bond.
So I interweave my heart with my mind, my body with my spirit, my frustrations with my acceptance emerging into a stronger me on the inside and out as I cherish and love myself.
I encourage you Cherish, yourself!! Love yourself!!
Growth is insight with sustained behavioral change. Live in the present and remain open to the possibilities all around you. You never know what opportunities may present themselves.
As a result of not having my swimsuit I worked out harder in treadmill class. Afterward, while I trying to control my breathing, I shared that I had a lot of time on my hands before my next class so I, was invited to share my story with a class of people just starting their journey.
I am truly humbled and honored if my journey can bless others on theirs.
Peace & Blessings On Your Journey
Monday, November 11, 2013
Almost there
I have had the pleasure of participating in several races this year beginning with the Jan. 1 2013 Commitment Day 5k where the temperature was a balmy 19 degrees with light snow and ice on the course and ending with the recent Hot Chocolate 15k with several others races and two triathlon sprints thrown in for good measure.
On every race there are the wonderful volunteers on the course and the participants who have completed the course and claimed their prize who say these the magical words that evoke mixed responses deep from within. These seven powerful words are blessing and a burden. There are blessings because they indicate that relief is close at hand but a burden because you realize you're not there yet. What are well meaning words spoken to inspire and encourage? Simply this "Great job!! Keep going you're almost there!!" Nine times out of ten my first inner thought is: "Are these people kidding me? I heard there's a mile to go, freaking two miles ago!!" "Almost there is not, freaking being there!!"
Usually when I hear this words I've reached my limit and every fiber in my being is wondering if I will meet my creator at the finish line but, simultaneously wishing I won't. One part my psyche is secretly praying, "please Lord take me now!" and the other part of my mind responds "Ignore that last request, I'm not ready yet, I 've got work to do!!!" This internal robust turmoil intensifies a mile out, half mile out, and a quarter mile out, down to the final all out sprint, when the finish line is in sight. :
So, with a devil on my left saying: "Almost there my ass! These people are messing with you!! You need to stop, you're not going to make it. Give up now!" and an angel on my right chanting: "almost there..anything, anything, you can do anything for 15minutes...almost there..anything, anything you can do anything for 15minutes" I put one foot in front of the other and keep going.
Today, I discovered the importance of putting one foot in front of the other. My wife introduced me to a 100 foot 45 degree climb called Swallow Cliff. This imposing obstacle is 125 stairs of sheer cardiac delight. As a naive novice climber I looked up this steep incline thinking: "This doesn't like so bad. How hard could it be?" At step 65 I found myself saying WTF!! I know it was step 65 because, I was bent over gasping for air looking at the painted blue number staring back at me taunting me saying "Is that all you got?" When I looked heavenward and saw fellow climbers running up and taking the stairs two at a time I heard a small soft voice begin to chant: "almost there..anything, anything, you can do anything for 15minutes!" So, like the "Little Engine That Could" I dug deep and went up and over the stairs one step at time putting one foot in front of the other, finishing with a nice jog on the hiking trail on the otherside.
On the jog as we went into the woods my wife wanted to stop and turn around and I said let's keep going we are almost there. We have never been to this place mind you but, I was confidently telling her: We are almost there, lets go another 15 minutes." After the hike we returned to the stairs for the awkward climb down. Upon reaching the bottom we decided to ascend and descend the 125 stairs two more times before returning to the car.With each ascent and descent I gained strength and endurance.
On the third trip down I found myself confidently smiling and encouraging another bent over climber at step 65 with these seven magical words: "Great job!! Keep going, you're almost there!!"
Peace & Blessings On Your Journey..
On every race there are the wonderful volunteers on the course and the participants who have completed the course and claimed their prize who say these the magical words that evoke mixed responses deep from within. These seven powerful words are blessing and a burden. There are blessings because they indicate that relief is close at hand but a burden because you realize you're not there yet. What are well meaning words spoken to inspire and encourage? Simply this "Great job!! Keep going you're almost there!!" Nine times out of ten my first inner thought is: "Are these people kidding me? I heard there's a mile to go, freaking two miles ago!!" "Almost there is not, freaking being there!!"
Usually when I hear this words I've reached my limit and every fiber in my being is wondering if I will meet my creator at the finish line but, simultaneously wishing I won't. One part my psyche is secretly praying, "please Lord take me now!" and the other part of my mind responds "Ignore that last request, I'm not ready yet, I 've got work to do!!!" This internal robust turmoil intensifies a mile out, half mile out, and a quarter mile out, down to the final all out sprint, when the finish line is in sight. :
So, with a devil on my left saying: "Almost there my ass! These people are messing with you!! You need to stop, you're not going to make it. Give up now!" and an angel on my right chanting: "almost there..anything, anything, you can do anything for 15minutes...almost there..anything, anything you can do anything for 15minutes" I put one foot in front of the other and keep going.
Today, I discovered the importance of putting one foot in front of the other. My wife introduced me to a 100 foot 45 degree climb called Swallow Cliff. This imposing obstacle is 125 stairs of sheer cardiac delight. As a naive novice climber I looked up this steep incline thinking: "This doesn't like so bad. How hard could it be?" At step 65 I found myself saying WTF!! I know it was step 65 because, I was bent over gasping for air looking at the painted blue number staring back at me taunting me saying "Is that all you got?" When I looked heavenward and saw fellow climbers running up and taking the stairs two at a time I heard a small soft voice begin to chant: "almost there..anything, anything, you can do anything for 15minutes!" So, like the "Little Engine That Could" I dug deep and went up and over the stairs one step at time putting one foot in front of the other, finishing with a nice jog on the hiking trail on the otherside.
On the jog as we went into the woods my wife wanted to stop and turn around and I said let's keep going we are almost there. We have never been to this place mind you but, I was confidently telling her: We are almost there, lets go another 15 minutes." After the hike we returned to the stairs for the awkward climb down. Upon reaching the bottom we decided to ascend and descend the 125 stairs two more times before returning to the car.With each ascent and descent I gained strength and endurance.
On the third trip down I found myself confidently smiling and encouraging another bent over climber at step 65 with these seven magical words: "Great job!! Keep going, you're almost there!!"
Peace & Blessings On Your Journey..
Monday, November 4, 2013
"I've Come Too Far.."
Yesterday was the 6th Anniversary of Chicago's Hot Chocolate 15k/5k race. It was a brisk low 30's morning with over 40,000 participants running for mugs with treats in them to be dipped in hot chocolate and washed down with hot cocoa!! Thank goodness my blood glucose is more regulated or I would be in some one's emergency room rather than at home blogging about my experience!!! :)
As the run started, my wife and I were grouped together in the second wave of runners to run the course. When it was our turn, after a long wait, we started our run trough the tunnels and streets of Chicago. We saw people of all sizes, nationalities, and physical abilities. There was a young with one leg in front us, talk about inspiring!! We all had one common goal, to finish the race and enjoy our share of chocolate!!
I signed my wife and I up for the 15k which is 9.3 miles. For non-runners, such as ourselves, this was not the easiest thing in the world to do!!! Maintaining a quick pace, while absorbing the shock of constant pounding on concrete, over time takes a toll on the knees, ankles and lower back. At the 5k/15k course split we had a choice to make: follow the majority of the crowd and stop at the 5k point? or press on toward the 15k finish line? My wife said it was up to me, thanks sweetie!! The pain was just starting to introduce itself but, thought to myself if I want to be an Ironman one day this is only the beginning.
There are times in life when we have to make a split second decision: quit or keep going. For me quitting is not an option. I've come too far to turn around!!!
There is a scene in the movie Gattaca (which are base pair DNA sequences, I thought I would throw this in to prove my Microbiology degree was not a complete waste of time but, I digress) starring Ethan Hawke and Uma Thurman, were people are genetically engineered to assume the elite places in society. Society is split into two categories the valid (genetically superior) and the invalids (genetically inferior) One of the subplots of the movie is about two brothers one valid the other invalid. Its a very good movie about the lengths an invalid (Hawke) goes through to achieve his dreams.
The story begins describing the nature of the relationship between two brothers and their parents. Vincent, the eldest son, born naturally with genetic impurities versus his younger brother Anton, born with a leg up in the world, having the genetic 'right stuff' to be successful in life.
Vincent and Anton were typical brothers who competed in everything. Naturally, Anton being genetically superior would win every contest and Vincent being genetically inferior would lose. Anton was favored by his father and Vincent was treated like a weakling. Until one day something strange happened, Vincent beat Anton while swimming, in fact Vincent had to save his younger Anton. Watch the movie for what happened next its a thriller suspense!!
As adults the brothers are faced with a critical dilemma. They decide to resolve it by swimming in the cold dark ocean to prove who is superior and who is not. As they strip down and swim out into the deep they are side by side then like in childhood Vincent pulls ahead and keeps going. Anton is yelling: "Stop! We need to turn around, we've come too far. We won't make it to the other side!!!" Vincent shouts back: "Do you wanna quit?" Anton screams: "No!" so they keep swimming stroke for stroke until Anton pulls up pleading to stop because he is fearful and on the verge on drowning for the second time in his perfect life. Shocked, bewildered, and gasping for air Anton asks: "How are you doing this? How have you done any of this?" Vincent responds; "I didn't save anything for the swim back!!"
I don't have a triathlete's body. According to one doctor, given my age and size I have no business running. But, I have never let anybody tell me what I can't do. I might not be the fastest, or the thinnest but, I've got the heart to keep going.
When I woke this morning, feeling aching after completing a 2hour 24 minute 9.3mile run, I realized I've come too far on my journey to turn around. When I first learned how to swim as an adult, I was in an Olympic sized pool that was 15feet deep. The .only way to get to the other side was to keep kicking, quitting was not an option. If you took the time to read this, realize whatever your dreams are keep going because you've come too far to turn around. Enjoy this song on as you reach your destination.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ioxg_gK0Ac4
Peace & Blessings On Your Journey
As the run started, my wife and I were grouped together in the second wave of runners to run the course. When it was our turn, after a long wait, we started our run trough the tunnels and streets of Chicago. We saw people of all sizes, nationalities, and physical abilities. There was a young with one leg in front us, talk about inspiring!! We all had one common goal, to finish the race and enjoy our share of chocolate!!
I signed my wife and I up for the 15k which is 9.3 miles. For non-runners, such as ourselves, this was not the easiest thing in the world to do!!! Maintaining a quick pace, while absorbing the shock of constant pounding on concrete, over time takes a toll on the knees, ankles and lower back. At the 5k/15k course split we had a choice to make: follow the majority of the crowd and stop at the 5k point? or press on toward the 15k finish line? My wife said it was up to me, thanks sweetie!! The pain was just starting to introduce itself but, thought to myself if I want to be an Ironman one day this is only the beginning.
There are times in life when we have to make a split second decision: quit or keep going. For me quitting is not an option. I've come too far to turn around!!!
There is a scene in the movie Gattaca (which are base pair DNA sequences, I thought I would throw this in to prove my Microbiology degree was not a complete waste of time but, I digress) starring Ethan Hawke and Uma Thurman, were people are genetically engineered to assume the elite places in society. Society is split into two categories the valid (genetically superior) and the invalids (genetically inferior) One of the subplots of the movie is about two brothers one valid the other invalid. Its a very good movie about the lengths an invalid (Hawke) goes through to achieve his dreams.
The story begins describing the nature of the relationship between two brothers and their parents. Vincent, the eldest son, born naturally with genetic impurities versus his younger brother Anton, born with a leg up in the world, having the genetic 'right stuff' to be successful in life.
Vincent and Anton were typical brothers who competed in everything. Naturally, Anton being genetically superior would win every contest and Vincent being genetically inferior would lose. Anton was favored by his father and Vincent was treated like a weakling. Until one day something strange happened, Vincent beat Anton while swimming, in fact Vincent had to save his younger Anton. Watch the movie for what happened next its a thriller suspense!!
As adults the brothers are faced with a critical dilemma. They decide to resolve it by swimming in the cold dark ocean to prove who is superior and who is not. As they strip down and swim out into the deep they are side by side then like in childhood Vincent pulls ahead and keeps going. Anton is yelling: "Stop! We need to turn around, we've come too far. We won't make it to the other side!!!" Vincent shouts back: "Do you wanna quit?" Anton screams: "No!" so they keep swimming stroke for stroke until Anton pulls up pleading to stop because he is fearful and on the verge on drowning for the second time in his perfect life. Shocked, bewildered, and gasping for air Anton asks: "How are you doing this? How have you done any of this?" Vincent responds; "I didn't save anything for the swim back!!"
I don't have a triathlete's body. According to one doctor, given my age and size I have no business running. But, I have never let anybody tell me what I can't do. I might not be the fastest, or the thinnest but, I've got the heart to keep going.
When I woke this morning, feeling aching after completing a 2hour 24 minute 9.3mile run, I realized I've come too far on my journey to turn around. When I first learned how to swim as an adult, I was in an Olympic sized pool that was 15feet deep. The .only way to get to the other side was to keep kicking, quitting was not an option. If you took the time to read this, realize whatever your dreams are keep going because you've come too far to turn around. Enjoy this song on as you reach your destination.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ioxg_gK0Ac4
Peace & Blessings On Your Journey
Thursday, October 31, 2013
Companions on the way
Have you ever been on a long road trip playing "follow the leader" with a another driver. You pass that driver, that driver passes you? This back and forth "game" goes on for a lengthy duration and you make a slight connection but don't acknowledge it. Has this ever happened to you? Then some where the down road you find yourselves at the same Rest Area taking a break to stretch your legs then out of the blue the other driver says: "I appreciate your driving you helped pass the time." You think to yourself: 'Really? You helped me more than I helped you.'
In life we pass each other at high speeds palying "follow the leader" barely connecting, until we find ourselves at a rest station preparing ourselves to re-engage the road.
You never know how your journey can bless someone else on theirs. Someone read a recent post I made and decided to re-engage the road of lifestyle change and healthy living. I thought to myself: "Wow..I didn't realize people actually read what I write and understand."
My journey is not about a magic pill, secret formula, special gym equipment, or quick fixes. My journey is long and difficult it is the road less traveled. On any given day I fall down but I get back up. There is an ancient proverb "Fall down seven times, stand up eight".
When I fall and get back up again, may I be so blessed to find companions on the way who know, understand and share in the struggle. Life is series of small connections that creates a larger mosaic. Be the companion you hope to find on the way.
Peace & Blessings on Your Journey
In life we pass each other at high speeds palying "follow the leader" barely connecting, until we find ourselves at a rest station preparing ourselves to re-engage the road.
You never know how your journey can bless someone else on theirs. Someone read a recent post I made and decided to re-engage the road of lifestyle change and healthy living. I thought to myself: "Wow..I didn't realize people actually read what I write and understand."
My journey is not about a magic pill, secret formula, special gym equipment, or quick fixes. My journey is long and difficult it is the road less traveled. On any given day I fall down but I get back up. There is an ancient proverb "Fall down seven times, stand up eight".
When I fall and get back up again, may I be so blessed to find companions on the way who know, understand and share in the struggle. Life is series of small connections that creates a larger mosaic. Be the companion you hope to find on the way.
Peace & Blessings on Your Journey
Monday, October 28, 2013
Feeling some kind of way: Rise and Shine Welcome to the Grind
Terminology and colloquial sayings are constantly changing. I heard someone say: "I'm feeling some kind of way about...."
What an interesting way to describe the nexus between fear and apathy or frustration and rage. I am no psychologist or psychotherapist (I surely need one) but, it feels like this saying is a catchall phrase to articulate the liminal space between hope and despair.
I recently received the following motivational clip entitled Rise and Shine that speaks to my feeling some kind of way.
Every day is series of conflicts between the right way and the easy way. I will sit up. Put my feet on the floor because I've got work to do.
I am entering the Grind.
Peace & Blessings on Your Journey
What an interesting way to describe the nexus between fear and apathy or frustration and rage. I am no psychologist or psychotherapist (I surely need one) but, it feels like this saying is a catchall phrase to articulate the liminal space between hope and despair.
I recently received the following motivational clip entitled Rise and Shine that speaks to my feeling some kind of way.
Every day is series of conflicts between the right way and the easy way. I will sit up. Put my feet on the floor because I've got work to do.
I am entering the Grind.
Peace & Blessings on Your Journey
Tuesday, October 22, 2013
Running on empty
I once brought a car that had a funky gas gauge. It would read that I had gas in the tank when in actually I was cruising on fumes. Running out of gas on a long trip sucks in more ways than one!!! Walking to the nearest gas station to buy a gas can to fill up and walk back to the car is frustrating and embarrassing.
I am reminded to stayed hydrated and keep good fuel for the long workouts. No fuel on board makes for one long and painful workout and recovery. Finding the right balance of carbs and protein is not easy. But, the saying garbage in garbage out fits.
I am learning that my journey is more than about the external is it also about my inner awareness. There are times when I feel like I'm running on empty and going through the motions. When those times come, (and they do come with a fierceness!) I am reminded of the Last Samurai.
When Algrin (Tom Cruise) is learning the way of sword he has a difficult time and runs out of gas physically and emotionally. Laying spent, frustrated and embarrassed in the field Algrin run out of gas until his young captor Top Knot says: "Too many mind" "Mind the wind...mind the people...mind the noise...No Mind"
To be mindful is to let go of thoughts and expectations and except the inner energy that helps fuel the journey.
If you took time to read this may you be energized enough not to run on empty.
Peace and Blessings on Journey
I am reminded to stayed hydrated and keep good fuel for the long workouts. No fuel on board makes for one long and painful workout and recovery. Finding the right balance of carbs and protein is not easy. But, the saying garbage in garbage out fits.
I am learning that my journey is more than about the external is it also about my inner awareness. There are times when I feel like I'm running on empty and going through the motions. When those times come, (and they do come with a fierceness!) I am reminded of the Last Samurai.
When Algrin (Tom Cruise) is learning the way of sword he has a difficult time and runs out of gas physically and emotionally. Laying spent, frustrated and embarrassed in the field Algrin run out of gas until his young captor Top Knot says: "Too many mind" "Mind the wind...mind the people...mind the noise...No Mind"
To be mindful is to let go of thoughts and expectations and except the inner energy that helps fuel the journey.
If you took time to read this may you be energized enough not to run on empty.
Peace and Blessings on Journey
Monday, October 21, 2013
Getting in touch with the Core
A very entertaining story is Journey to the Center of the Earth. There are several stories like the CORE, Inner Space, etc. that share a similar motif with Journey to the Center of Earth. All these movies have the theme of going deep beneath the surface to discover a whole new world fraught with burdens and blessings. The journey is about going in and coming out on the other side. Case in point, in the movie, Lost In Space, the Jupiter II had to go down through the core of the planet while it was breaking up in order to survive.
Finding the core and engaging the core is very difficult. I started taking a Pilate's Reformer class in-addition to TRX and Kettlebell and very sporadically Yoga.Through these rigorous and strenuous exercises I am growing more mindful of my core for when I swim, bike, and run. A strong physical core makes all those activities possible. But, my life is more than the sum of my physical fitness or lack thereof. Finding and engaging my inner core is as hard and daunting a process as finding and engaging my physical core.
The other day I was oscillating between frustration and apathy when I gained weight. I know the scale gives objective information however, I was pissed to my core. This feeling got worse the days that followed and led into a serious funk over the weekend. I found myself asking: why am I doing this? Who cares really? Life will roll along just fine without me. I am coming to realize that when I experience these intense emotions I am getting in touch with my core.
At my core there is a dynamic interaction between my shadow and light. There's a narrative about a Native American grandfather talking with grandson, telling the grandson the story of the two wolfs at war inside all of us. The one that wins is the one you feed the most. Yet, I am coming to understand that I need to engage and feed my shadow and my light, because together they generate powerful kinetic energy to break the gravitational pull of hopelessness and despair. Warp drive, for any sci-fi folk reading this, is created by the controlled balanced explosion between matter and anti-matter.As I get in touch with my core I ask three crucial questions: Who am I? Why am I here? and How am I in touch with me on the journey?
So, now whether I lose weight, gain weight, or maintain my weight I strive to get in touch with my core. If I run a 14:53min mile or a 9:55min mile I seek to be in touch with my core inside and out. If, I swim 2miles in open water in less than 45 minutes or if, it takes me 2 hours, I won't forget about my core. If I generate 775 watts on the bike or barely break 300watts I am encouraged to stay in touch with my core.
If, you have been following this blog feel free to leave a response from the core of your being :)
Peace & Blessings on Your Journey.
Finding the core and engaging the core is very difficult. I started taking a Pilate's Reformer class in-addition to TRX and Kettlebell and very sporadically Yoga.Through these rigorous and strenuous exercises I am growing more mindful of my core for when I swim, bike, and run. A strong physical core makes all those activities possible. But, my life is more than the sum of my physical fitness or lack thereof. Finding and engaging my inner core is as hard and daunting a process as finding and engaging my physical core.
The other day I was oscillating between frustration and apathy when I gained weight. I know the scale gives objective information however, I was pissed to my core. This feeling got worse the days that followed and led into a serious funk over the weekend. I found myself asking: why am I doing this? Who cares really? Life will roll along just fine without me. I am coming to realize that when I experience these intense emotions I am getting in touch with my core.
At my core there is a dynamic interaction between my shadow and light. There's a narrative about a Native American grandfather talking with grandson, telling the grandson the story of the two wolfs at war inside all of us. The one that wins is the one you feed the most. Yet, I am coming to understand that I need to engage and feed my shadow and my light, because together they generate powerful kinetic energy to break the gravitational pull of hopelessness and despair. Warp drive, for any sci-fi folk reading this, is created by the controlled balanced explosion between matter and anti-matter.As I get in touch with my core I ask three crucial questions: Who am I? Why am I here? and How am I in touch with me on the journey?
So, now whether I lose weight, gain weight, or maintain my weight I strive to get in touch with my core. If I run a 14:53min mile or a 9:55min mile I seek to be in touch with my core inside and out. If, I swim 2miles in open water in less than 45 minutes or if, it takes me 2 hours, I won't forget about my core. If I generate 775 watts on the bike or barely break 300watts I am encouraged to stay in touch with my core.
If, you have been following this blog feel free to leave a response from the core of your being :)
Peace & Blessings on Your Journey.
Wednesday, October 16, 2013
Befriending Pain
I watch G.I. Jane every time it comes on cable or the networks. It is the story of a woman who tries to become the first female Navy Seal. There is scene that takes place at the start of Hell Week. The recruits are doing leg lifts in the water and sand after going through excruciating PT (Physical Torture). The Master Chief is instructing them about pain he says: "Pain is your friend. It will remind you to finish the job and get the hell home...You know the best thing about pain? (pauses) No Master Chief. IT LET'S YOU KNOW YOU'RE NOT DEAD YET!!"
I have friends who just finished the Chicago Marathon, a feat I will attempt after the Chicago Half, one friend in particular ran his first Marathon and posted the 8 Stages of Running a Marathon on YouTube it is the funniest thing ever but true!!! It equates to phases in life's journey 1.excitement 2.Denial 3. Shock 4. isolation 5. despair 6. THE WALL 7. Affirmation 8. Elation. I have not run a Marathon yet but experienced all of these emotions in varying degrees along my life's journey.
Nobody likes pain. In fact we try to avoid it at all costs!! But, pain is a fact of life!!! Birth? Painful! (ask my sister with her seven children!!), Root canal? Painful! Heartburn after eating sliders? Painful! Broken heart? Painful! Getting fired? Painful! Saying goodbye to loved ones? Painful!!
Pain is a fact of life. It is at the core of the human experience. The Psalmist says "weeping endures for a night but joy comes in the morning" But, what do you between the night and morning? Befriend the Pain.
I have a lot physical pain from my bone spur in my heel which arragvates my Achilles tendon, to my pre-arthritic knees. My body screams at me in the morning why are you getting out of bed????!!! Then I think about the man with MS who finished the Chicago Marathon in 16hours, or the story of Matty Long, or the countless others who befriend the pain and continue the journey to finish the race. I write this entry in mild pain aching here, throbbing there but I'm grateful for the pain because it reminds me I'm NOT DEAD YET!!
Befriend the Pain it will teach you something.
Peace & Blessings on Your Journey
I have friends who just finished the Chicago Marathon, a feat I will attempt after the Chicago Half, one friend in particular ran his first Marathon and posted the 8 Stages of Running a Marathon on YouTube it is the funniest thing ever but true!!! It equates to phases in life's journey 1.excitement 2.Denial 3. Shock 4. isolation 5. despair 6. THE WALL 7. Affirmation 8. Elation. I have not run a Marathon yet but experienced all of these emotions in varying degrees along my life's journey.
Nobody likes pain. In fact we try to avoid it at all costs!! But, pain is a fact of life!!! Birth? Painful! (ask my sister with her seven children!!), Root canal? Painful! Heartburn after eating sliders? Painful! Broken heart? Painful! Getting fired? Painful! Saying goodbye to loved ones? Painful!!
Pain is a fact of life. It is at the core of the human experience. The Psalmist says "weeping endures for a night but joy comes in the morning" But, what do you between the night and morning? Befriend the Pain.
I have a lot physical pain from my bone spur in my heel which arragvates my Achilles tendon, to my pre-arthritic knees. My body screams at me in the morning why are you getting out of bed????!!! Then I think about the man with MS who finished the Chicago Marathon in 16hours, or the story of Matty Long, or the countless others who befriend the pain and continue the journey to finish the race. I write this entry in mild pain aching here, throbbing there but I'm grateful for the pain because it reminds me I'm NOT DEAD YET!!
Befriend the Pain it will teach you something.
Peace & Blessings on Your Journey
Tuesday, October 8, 2013
course correction
One day I set out on a road trip to visit my best friend who was living on the south east coast. I live in the mid-west well over ten plus hours away.
As I started my trip trip I had nothing with me but some scribbled directions my friend gave to me on a napkin! My friend provided me with a short cut that was guaranteed to take several hours off my drive time. When I arrived at the "short cut" I took the route numbered road instead of the interstate numbered road.
Needless to say that after several hundred miles and tedious long hours of going in the wrong direction I ended up close to the Canadian border when I was trying to go to Southern Georgia!!! I needed a serious course correction!!!
On this year long journey of documenting my thoughts I find myself making course corrections.
I am discovering that external motivations to train, maintain my weight loss, and to become fitter for the International Tri and Half Tri distances are starting to wane.
I am sensing the need for a course correction, shifting from external motivation to internal motivation. As I alluded to in previous posts I have spent the majority of my life living outside myself vulnerable to rejection and criticism of others.
People pleasing is a draining pursuit because nothing you do will ever be enough.
I am awaking to the concept I don't have to work out. I choose to work out!! I don't have swim, run, or bike. I choose to swim, run, and bike.
I usually get typical questions asked when people see me working out or thy hear about the preparation for a pending race. They ask: why are you doing that? What made want to do this?
Why not stop and take it easy?
Rather than generating external answers and justifications I choose the course correction of looking within than from without. This is the difficult part of the journey that is easier said than done. But, I am encouraged that if I stay on the road, I will reach my destination in-spite of course corrections and all.
Peace & Blessings on your Journey!
As I started my trip trip I had nothing with me but some scribbled directions my friend gave to me on a napkin! My friend provided me with a short cut that was guaranteed to take several hours off my drive time. When I arrived at the "short cut" I took the route numbered road instead of the interstate numbered road.
Needless to say that after several hundred miles and tedious long hours of going in the wrong direction I ended up close to the Canadian border when I was trying to go to Southern Georgia!!! I needed a serious course correction!!!
On this year long journey of documenting my thoughts I find myself making course corrections.
I am discovering that external motivations to train, maintain my weight loss, and to become fitter for the International Tri and Half Tri distances are starting to wane.
I am sensing the need for a course correction, shifting from external motivation to internal motivation. As I alluded to in previous posts I have spent the majority of my life living outside myself vulnerable to rejection and criticism of others.
People pleasing is a draining pursuit because nothing you do will ever be enough.
I am awaking to the concept I don't have to work out. I choose to work out!! I don't have swim, run, or bike. I choose to swim, run, and bike.
I usually get typical questions asked when people see me working out or thy hear about the preparation for a pending race. They ask: why are you doing that? What made want to do this?
Why not stop and take it easy?
Rather than generating external answers and justifications I choose the course correction of looking within than from without. This is the difficult part of the journey that is easier said than done. But, I am encouraged that if I stay on the road, I will reach my destination in-spite of course corrections and all.
Peace & Blessings on your Journey!
Saturday, September 28, 2013
Decisions, Decisions...
There comes a point on every journey when decisions have to be made; give up, turn around, stay still, change direction, or press on. I have reached a decision point in my journey like Red in the Shawshank Redemption: "Get busy living or get busy dying....that's goddamn right!"
I can choose to be in permanent funk about my set backs or I can choose to accept them and move forward. My worth and value as a human being is not determined by a number on the scale, or the size suit I wear, the condition of my body, the firmness of my muscles, the flexibility of my limbs, or the time of my swim, bike, and run.
On any given day the scale will report that I either gained weight, lost weight, or maintained my weight. Is it disappointing after working really hard to see a weight gain? Hell yes!! Is it frustrating not to reach and maintain a 11 minute mile? Damn skippy!! Is it humiliating and embarrassing to have a bike chain come off and break during a baby incline? Of course it is! Is it tiring to reach and pull on every stroke only to feel like I'm going nowhere fast? You better believe it!! Immediately I say to myself WTF!!! Then I begin down the road of self-negation...I'm not good enough...I'll never be fit and trim..Might as well stop and give up.. What's the point? But, I realize I can either throw a pity party or move forward one step at a time. I have a decision to make: "Get busy living or get busy dying?"
My Run Club coach gave me a power article to read about Matthew Long, the New York firefighter, triathlete, adrenaline junkie, ladies man, all around life of the party who had had to learn how to live again after being impaled and crushed by 20-ton bus while riding his bike on his way to a training. By the end of his story I was in tears. His goal was to run a 26.2 miles with one leg shorter than the other, mangled hammer toes, and a titanium rod in his leg. He had decisions to make all through his 40 surguries, extensive rehab, and painful training. The day of the marathon he decisions to make "do I quit or keep going?" He was fortunate to have buddies that pushed him when he needed and supported him when he reached his limit and encouraged him when he was down. In the end he had a decision to make "Get busy living or get busy dying? That's goddamn right!"
The spirit of Invictus (William Ernest Henly) is encouraging me to stay the course at this decision making moment in my life:
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced or cried aloud
Under the bludeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.
It matters not how straight the gait,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate
I am the captain of my soul.
What decisions do you need to make?
If you took time to read this feel free to leave a comment.
Peace & Blessings on Your Journey
I can choose to be in permanent funk about my set backs or I can choose to accept them and move forward. My worth and value as a human being is not determined by a number on the scale, or the size suit I wear, the condition of my body, the firmness of my muscles, the flexibility of my limbs, or the time of my swim, bike, and run.
On any given day the scale will report that I either gained weight, lost weight, or maintained my weight. Is it disappointing after working really hard to see a weight gain? Hell yes!! Is it frustrating not to reach and maintain a 11 minute mile? Damn skippy!! Is it humiliating and embarrassing to have a bike chain come off and break during a baby incline? Of course it is! Is it tiring to reach and pull on every stroke only to feel like I'm going nowhere fast? You better believe it!! Immediately I say to myself WTF!!! Then I begin down the road of self-negation...I'm not good enough...I'll never be fit and trim..Might as well stop and give up.. What's the point? But, I realize I can either throw a pity party or move forward one step at a time. I have a decision to make: "Get busy living or get busy dying?"
My Run Club coach gave me a power article to read about Matthew Long, the New York firefighter, triathlete, adrenaline junkie, ladies man, all around life of the party who had had to learn how to live again after being impaled and crushed by 20-ton bus while riding his bike on his way to a training. By the end of his story I was in tears. His goal was to run a 26.2 miles with one leg shorter than the other, mangled hammer toes, and a titanium rod in his leg. He had decisions to make all through his 40 surguries, extensive rehab, and painful training. The day of the marathon he decisions to make "do I quit or keep going?" He was fortunate to have buddies that pushed him when he needed and supported him when he reached his limit and encouraged him when he was down. In the end he had a decision to make "Get busy living or get busy dying? That's goddamn right!"
The spirit of Invictus (William Ernest Henly) is encouraging me to stay the course at this decision making moment in my life:
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced or cried aloud
Under the bludeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.
It matters not how straight the gait,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate
I am the captain of my soul.
What decisions do you need to make?
If you took time to read this feel free to leave a comment.
Peace & Blessings on Your Journey
Wednesday, September 25, 2013
Going with the flow
So, this morning everything was completely off track. It started last night with missing two workout classes and attending a late meeting at Buffalo Wild Wings where I completely blew my calorie consumption. It tasted good going down, I'm not going to lie but, man did I felt terrible in the morning!!
Back to the story at hand, I wake up late feeling hung over (no I did not drink, except for five Arnold Palmer's, I needed something to wash all that goodness down with but, I digress) and lethargic. I get my clothes ready to head for an early morning class (my Run Coach and Trainer are going to kill me when they read this. Sorry, Morgan and Nicole) get to the car, pull off get a call that I forgot my glasses then decided: "O well I'm not going to make it to class might as well go back home and get ready for work"
Thank goodness my wife asked: "Do you want to go for a quick run?" I replied 'might as well since I'm already dressed to workout'. So, in the pre-dawn chill of the early morning we take off.
I was going to run for only a mile but one mile turned into almost three.
Moral of the story? Sometimes things don't go as planned, when this happens pause breathe and go with the flow. You never know what's in store.
If you took time to read this feel free to leave a comment on how you go with the flow and the lessons learned.
Peace & Blessings On Your Journey :)
Back to the story at hand, I wake up late feeling hung over (no I did not drink, except for five Arnold Palmer's, I needed something to wash all that goodness down with but, I digress) and lethargic. I get my clothes ready to head for an early morning class (my Run Coach and Trainer are going to kill me when they read this. Sorry, Morgan and Nicole) get to the car, pull off get a call that I forgot my glasses then decided: "O well I'm not going to make it to class might as well go back home and get ready for work"
Thank goodness my wife asked: "Do you want to go for a quick run?" I replied 'might as well since I'm already dressed to workout'. So, in the pre-dawn chill of the early morning we take off.
I was going to run for only a mile but one mile turned into almost three.
Moral of the story? Sometimes things don't go as planned, when this happens pause breathe and go with the flow. You never know what's in store.
If you took time to read this feel free to leave a comment on how you go with the flow and the lessons learned.
Peace & Blessings On Your Journey :)
Monday, September 23, 2013
Cool Runnings
A wonderful movie about unlikely bobsledders from Jamaica is Cool Running, which means Peace be the journey.
I am an unlikely triathlete with my age and size working against me of ever winning a World Championship Ironman Endurance Race. However, I am reminded to be present and, at peace on the journey.
This does not mean the journey won't be taxing emotionally, physically, mentally, and financially. Moving through the challenges with awareness grace and mercy will empower me to stay connected when the extremes kick in; extreme heat,cold, exhaustion, etc..
Cool Running is staying in the zone in-spite of the obstacles and challenges that come your way.
Peace & Blessings on Your Journey.
I am an unlikely triathlete with my age and size working against me of ever winning a World Championship Ironman Endurance Race. However, I am reminded to be present and, at peace on the journey.
This does not mean the journey won't be taxing emotionally, physically, mentally, and financially. Moving through the challenges with awareness grace and mercy will empower me to stay connected when the extremes kick in; extreme heat,cold, exhaustion, etc..
Cool Running is staying in the zone in-spite of the obstacles and challenges that come your way.
Peace & Blessings on Your Journey.
Friday, September 20, 2013
Bridging the Gap
I've been thinking about bridges lately. When I was younger I was afraid of bridges, especially wooden bridges that swayed when you walked on them!! Bridges serve as a way to get from Point A to Point B. They help the transition from one place to the next.
I remember fairy tales of trolls lurking under bridges forbidding access and safe passage to would be travelers. Leaving the individual stuck looking at the gap from where they are and where they want to be.
I have an idea or ideal of where I would like to be by next year but, at times the gap seems too wide to cross, the bridge seems shaky, and the trolls are demanding an exacting price. When I am approaching the point of frustration of not getting the results I want on timed trials, or not achieving desired weight goals, or not optimizing a yoga or palliates position; I remind myself that this is a season of transition. I am not where I want to be (there is much room for improvement!!) But, I am not where I was (I've come a long way!!)
If I remain open I am confident a way will appear to Bridge the Gap!!
For those that took time to journey with me bless you!! Please feel free to leave comments to any post I deeply appreciate them.
Peace & Blessings on Your Journey!!
I remember fairy tales of trolls lurking under bridges forbidding access and safe passage to would be travelers. Leaving the individual stuck looking at the gap from where they are and where they want to be.
I have an idea or ideal of where I would like to be by next year but, at times the gap seems too wide to cross, the bridge seems shaky, and the trolls are demanding an exacting price. When I am approaching the point of frustration of not getting the results I want on timed trials, or not achieving desired weight goals, or not optimizing a yoga or palliates position; I remind myself that this is a season of transition. I am not where I want to be (there is much room for improvement!!) But, I am not where I was (I've come a long way!!)
If I remain open I am confident a way will appear to Bridge the Gap!!
For those that took time to journey with me bless you!! Please feel free to leave comments to any post I deeply appreciate them.
Peace & Blessings on Your Journey!!
Tuesday, September 17, 2013
Traveling Light
Over the years I've noticed how much stuff I have accumulated...clothes, books, exercise equipment, shoes, etc. etc. It's a lot of freakin' stuff!! Just like material stuff I've accumulated a lot of inner stuff....fear, anger, sadness, etc. etc. I am coming to the awareness that all my stuff is weighing me down making it difficult for me to traverse the hills and valleys on my journey.
When I was an undergraduate student working on a B.S degree I would get a break in the action taking advantage of the opportunity to go home. Every semester, during season breaks I, would gather all my stuff and lug it across campus to the bus, or through the town to the train. Imagine several large bags bursting at the seams weighing upwards of 50pounds each!! I carried that stuff through the freezing cold and rain, the blistering heat and pain. I can't describe how long and arduous it was to walk with all that stuff!!
I learned a valuable lesson about traveling light. Recently, I was at the airport with too much stuff in my check-in bags. I discovered that carrying much stuff will cost you in more ways than one. In order for me to continue my journey and, not pay the extra money the airline was trying to charge, I had to lighten my load and rearrange my stuff.
I am learning that in order for me to travel light on my journey toward integrated health it is important for me to drop the emotional baggage I have been carrying for a long time and reconfigure my stuff to carry it differently.
Yes, I've had some pain and disappointments, heartaches and losses, mistakes and failures. Life for me "has been no crystal stair" however in-spite of my pain I am choosing to my unpack my stuff and travel light.
If you took time to read this feel free to leave a comment. What do you need to leave behind to travel light?
Peace & Blessings on Your Journey.
When I was an undergraduate student working on a B.S degree I would get a break in the action taking advantage of the opportunity to go home. Every semester, during season breaks I, would gather all my stuff and lug it across campus to the bus, or through the town to the train. Imagine several large bags bursting at the seams weighing upwards of 50pounds each!! I carried that stuff through the freezing cold and rain, the blistering heat and pain. I can't describe how long and arduous it was to walk with all that stuff!!
I learned a valuable lesson about traveling light. Recently, I was at the airport with too much stuff in my check-in bags. I discovered that carrying much stuff will cost you in more ways than one. In order for me to continue my journey and, not pay the extra money the airline was trying to charge, I had to lighten my load and rearrange my stuff.
I am learning that in order for me to travel light on my journey toward integrated health it is important for me to drop the emotional baggage I have been carrying for a long time and reconfigure my stuff to carry it differently.
Yes, I've had some pain and disappointments, heartaches and losses, mistakes and failures. Life for me "has been no crystal stair" however in-spite of my pain I am choosing to my unpack my stuff and travel light.
If you took time to read this feel free to leave a comment. What do you need to leave behind to travel light?
Peace & Blessings on Your Journey.
Saturday, September 14, 2013
Finding Balance
I saw a good movie years ago with Keanu Reeves called "Little Buddha" it tells the story of how a rich prince after encountering suffering for the first time began a quest for "enlightenment". The prince went to extremes in search for awakened presence. While living with ascetic hermits for a long period of time, going Au Natural (discard to personal hygine) for months on end, he saw and heard a man playing a string instrument in a boat traveling down the river. Watching and listening this man create beautiful music from his string instrument the prince came to this awareness: "If the strings are too tight they will break and music will be lost. If the strings are too slack no sound can be produced."
On my journey I am discovering the wisdom of this profound truth. Too much exercrise with little fuel and sleep results in painful injury causing my body and spirit to break down. Too stringent a diet with no execrise and strecething puts my body and soul into starvation mode depleting me physically and emotionally.
For me the awareness to do inner and outer work is finding the courage to let my soul sing through engaged abundant living. Abundant living is not limited to wealth and material things, I have none (although it would be nice to experience those things),for me, aabundant living is integrated living where I LOVE the person I see in the mirror imperfections and all.
I did not have good balance as young boy, I would tip over and fall easily. My sister and brother had a natural balance so much so that they took to riding a bike like a bird takes to soaring through the air. Unfortunately my experience of learning how to ride was much different!! I fell numerous times trying to find my balance to ride. After a more than what felt like a thousand painful falls and crashes I reached my breaking point, throwing my bike down in defeat desapair, never to attempt to ride again. But, my great-grandmother, who paid good money for that bike was determined I was going to ride even if it killed me!!! After scolding me she gave me words to live by that I will never forget: "Never let anything conquer, you you conquer it" After drying my eyes and dusting my self off for the thousandth time, I got back on my bike found my balance and began to ride.
There are times on my journey when everything is working well and there are times when everything feels like it is falling apart. However I remember the lessons of the prince and my great grandmother: to be present in the moment, accept life as it comes, while remaining open, to achieve balance.
If you took the time to read this, It is my heart's desire that you continue to find balance in your life.
Peace & Blessings On Your Journey :)
On my journey I am discovering the wisdom of this profound truth. Too much exercrise with little fuel and sleep results in painful injury causing my body and spirit to break down. Too stringent a diet with no execrise and strecething puts my body and soul into starvation mode depleting me physically and emotionally.
For me the awareness to do inner and outer work is finding the courage to let my soul sing through engaged abundant living. Abundant living is not limited to wealth and material things, I have none (although it would be nice to experience those things),for me, aabundant living is integrated living where I LOVE the person I see in the mirror imperfections and all.
I did not have good balance as young boy, I would tip over and fall easily. My sister and brother had a natural balance so much so that they took to riding a bike like a bird takes to soaring through the air. Unfortunately my experience of learning how to ride was much different!! I fell numerous times trying to find my balance to ride. After a more than what felt like a thousand painful falls and crashes I reached my breaking point, throwing my bike down in defeat desapair, never to attempt to ride again. But, my great-grandmother, who paid good money for that bike was determined I was going to ride even if it killed me!!! After scolding me she gave me words to live by that I will never forget: "Never let anything conquer, you you conquer it" After drying my eyes and dusting my self off for the thousandth time, I got back on my bike found my balance and began to ride.
There are times on my journey when everything is working well and there are times when everything feels like it is falling apart. However I remember the lessons of the prince and my great grandmother: to be present in the moment, accept life as it comes, while remaining open, to achieve balance.
If you took the time to read this, It is my heart's desire that you continue to find balance in your life.
Peace & Blessings On Your Journey :)
Thursday, September 12, 2013
Stayinig Connected
When I was in seventh or eighth grade my class took a field trip from the South of Chicago to the Indiana Dunes. When we arrived we were told all about dune formation and other geological facts that escape me in my advanced years :) Of all the information I received that day I remember that Mt. Baldy was the oldest and biggest of the sand dunes in the area. We had to climb Mt. Baldy to get to the other side where the beach and Lake Michigan is nestled.
Not being athletically inclined or physically fit like my classmates it was a real challenge for me to make the climb and get to the other side. Every time I made two steps forward I slid four steps behind. Needless to say that I got to know Mt. Baldy in a "special way".
As my classmates are running up and down the "mountain" I'm getting increasingly frustrated and angry with self defeating thoughts going off in my head: "What's wrong with you? Why can't you make it up the mountain? Why don't you quit, you loser?" These thoughts were intensified and reinforced by the not so kind teasing of my classmates. Yet, something inside of me said keep going don't stop. My battle with the mountain went on for what felt like an eternity but, in actually it was more like half the day until finally I reached the top!!
Fast forward a few years later, Mt. Baldy teaches me the necessity of staying connected with myself. I have discovered that is so easy to live outside myself by either killing myself to be accepted or feeling worthless and when I can't keep up.
I know now, that the secret to the climb,swim, bike, run is not about trying to be the fastest and get bragging rights "look at me"..."I'm somebody because I did: X,Y, or Z. in such a such time" Don't get me wrong, I would love to win my division or age group!! Being in the field with fellow athletes is a rush!! There will always be another Mt. Baldy to climb, a race to run, an IronMan to attempt and finish. But, if I lose connection with myself what's the point?
Every Triathlete has her or his personal reasons for training and reaching the "moment of truth". For me, I am learning about myself and what my body is capable of and it feels amazing!!! The juice is definitely worth the squeeze!! :) It will be wonderful to hear those six glorious words: "Melvin Jones You Are An Ironman" As much as I would love to hear those magnificent words; I continue on the journey endeavouring to remain connected to myself whether I hear them or not.
If you took time to read this:
Peace & Blessings On Your Journey
Not being athletically inclined or physically fit like my classmates it was a real challenge for me to make the climb and get to the other side. Every time I made two steps forward I slid four steps behind. Needless to say that I got to know Mt. Baldy in a "special way".
As my classmates are running up and down the "mountain" I'm getting increasingly frustrated and angry with self defeating thoughts going off in my head: "What's wrong with you? Why can't you make it up the mountain? Why don't you quit, you loser?" These thoughts were intensified and reinforced by the not so kind teasing of my classmates. Yet, something inside of me said keep going don't stop. My battle with the mountain went on for what felt like an eternity but, in actually it was more like half the day until finally I reached the top!!
Fast forward a few years later, Mt. Baldy teaches me the necessity of staying connected with myself. I have discovered that is so easy to live outside myself by either killing myself to be accepted or feeling worthless and when I can't keep up.
I know now, that the secret to the climb,swim, bike, run is not about trying to be the fastest and get bragging rights "look at me"..."I'm somebody because I did: X,Y, or Z. in such a such time" Don't get me wrong, I would love to win my division or age group!! Being in the field with fellow athletes is a rush!! There will always be another Mt. Baldy to climb, a race to run, an IronMan to attempt and finish. But, if I lose connection with myself what's the point?
Every Triathlete has her or his personal reasons for training and reaching the "moment of truth". For me, I am learning about myself and what my body is capable of and it feels amazing!!! The juice is definitely worth the squeeze!! :) It will be wonderful to hear those six glorious words: "Melvin Jones You Are An Ironman" As much as I would love to hear those magnificent words; I continue on the journey endeavouring to remain connected to myself whether I hear them or not.
If you took time to read this:
Peace & Blessings On Your Journey
Tuesday, September 10, 2013
Interest, desire, and movitativation
When I worked as an admissions counselor for an online University, I was taught to discover a potential student's IDM (interest, desire, and motivation) and then use their IDM as a way to encourage them on their educational journey.
When I started this journey of weight loss and becoming a Triathlete I was asked: "why are you doing this?" "why now?" "what is your end goal?" These are thought provoking questions that surface when my mouth is dry and its 2 miles to the next aid station, or when my ankle screams at me early in the morning when I get out of bed, or when its extremely hot, extremely cold, or extremely precipitous. When these questions raise under the adverse conditions I listed, I am reminded to stay in touch with myself.
I am evolving in my awareness of staying in touch with myself. Being able to feel the surge of power in my legs on a sprint, or feel the long and strong pull and glide through the water as a rotate my hips and shoulders, or conquer that damn hill, that comes at the beginning and end of every race, by using every muscle in body down to my eyelashes!!
My IDM comes from transforming my unbearable pain to livable disappointment. One of my run coaches gave me wrist ban that I wear now when starting a race it says: "Run Your Run" I have added to it Run Your Run Because Its Fun Until Its Done! My IDM is not to over perform nor under perform but just be present on the journey and sooner or later transformation happens and the real me emerges from a cocoon that has long sense served its purpose. There is a wonderful scene at the end of the WIZ when Evil-Leanne is defeated and the workers in the sweat shed their old skins and emerge singing: "Can't you feel a Brand New Day!"
Being in touch with myself inside and outside is my IDM for continuing on this journey. To answer the question I raised before: "Why now?" If, not now when!
Peace & Blessings on Your Journey
When I started this journey of weight loss and becoming a Triathlete I was asked: "why are you doing this?" "why now?" "what is your end goal?" These are thought provoking questions that surface when my mouth is dry and its 2 miles to the next aid station, or when my ankle screams at me early in the morning when I get out of bed, or when its extremely hot, extremely cold, or extremely precipitous. When these questions raise under the adverse conditions I listed, I am reminded to stay in touch with myself.
I am evolving in my awareness of staying in touch with myself. Being able to feel the surge of power in my legs on a sprint, or feel the long and strong pull and glide through the water as a rotate my hips and shoulders, or conquer that damn hill, that comes at the beginning and end of every race, by using every muscle in body down to my eyelashes!!
My IDM comes from transforming my unbearable pain to livable disappointment. One of my run coaches gave me wrist ban that I wear now when starting a race it says: "Run Your Run" I have added to it Run Your Run Because Its Fun Until Its Done! My IDM is not to over perform nor under perform but just be present on the journey and sooner or later transformation happens and the real me emerges from a cocoon that has long sense served its purpose. There is a wonderful scene at the end of the WIZ when Evil-Leanne is defeated and the workers in the sweat shed their old skins and emerge singing: "Can't you feel a Brand New Day!"
Being in touch with myself inside and outside is my IDM for continuing on this journey. To answer the question I raised before: "Why now?" If, not now when!
Peace & Blessings on Your Journey
Sunday, September 8, 2013
First Steps
It has been said every journey begins with the first step. When I was younger, traveling with my family, I would always ask "Are we there yet?" My question would usually be meet with silence, an irritated "no", or a sarcastic "do you have something better to do?" I responded with a frustrated sigh and would promptly go to sleep.
The metaphor of sleeping has profound significance for me. I like sleeping when it is pleasant, restful, adventurous, or exotic. However, when it is full with fears, worries, doubts, and uncertainties my sweet dreams become living nightmares that are hard to wake up from.
I am approaching a season in my life where I am waking up. When I was younger I choose to stay sleep to deal with the boredom, heartache, grief, anxiety and frustration of the journey. Now that I am nearing a watershed moment in my life I'm realizing that life to meant to be lived fully awake. For me this means accepting the joy and the pain, the losses and the gains, the good times and the bad and still continue on the journey.
A colleague helped me appreciate that to move forward in my life I need to reclaim my past,. the moments when I was sleep, consciously or unconsciously. It is the reclamation and reconciliation of my past that grounds me in the present moment, creating opportunities for the future.
When I started training in earnest for my new and emerging passion, becoming a triathlete, I realized I had a long way to go. I would often ask myself, "am I there yet". In fact, I ask myself this question every time I reach the half way point of the swim, bike, or run. Its at that point that I remind myself: It's all about the journey....stay connected....keeping feeling your way through....you will get there...
Whoever took the time to read this: Peace & Blessings on Your Journey
The metaphor of sleeping has profound significance for me. I like sleeping when it is pleasant, restful, adventurous, or exotic. However, when it is full with fears, worries, doubts, and uncertainties my sweet dreams become living nightmares that are hard to wake up from.
I am approaching a season in my life where I am waking up. When I was younger I choose to stay sleep to deal with the boredom, heartache, grief, anxiety and frustration of the journey. Now that I am nearing a watershed moment in my life I'm realizing that life to meant to be lived fully awake. For me this means accepting the joy and the pain, the losses and the gains, the good times and the bad and still continue on the journey.
A colleague helped me appreciate that to move forward in my life I need to reclaim my past,. the moments when I was sleep, consciously or unconsciously. It is the reclamation and reconciliation of my past that grounds me in the present moment, creating opportunities for the future.
When I started training in earnest for my new and emerging passion, becoming a triathlete, I realized I had a long way to go. I would often ask myself, "am I there yet". In fact, I ask myself this question every time I reach the half way point of the swim, bike, or run. Its at that point that I remind myself: It's all about the journey....stay connected....keeping feeling your way through....you will get there...
Whoever took the time to read this: Peace & Blessings on Your Journey
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