Happy New Year!!! As this first week of 2014 comes to a close I, am reminded of how far I have come and how far I have to go. I was asked a few days ago, "how much weight have you lost?" "What is your goal?" My response was: 'not enough' and 'a long way off'!!
My journey of mind, spirit, and body integration is a process of slow evolution. The left side of my brain says work harder, do more, push it, keep going, no pain no gain. The right side of my brain says take it easy, relax, breathe, have fun, enjoy yourself. I seek balance between these poles.
I have lived externally, seeking approval and acceptance from others, for a significant portion of my life. Don't get me wrong, approval and acceptance are wonderful but at what price? What does it matter if I reach my goal and get pats on the back while I lose connection with myself?
When sharing my embryonic triathlete aspirations with any who would care to listen I, have received the feedback that I am going through a mid-life crisis. While it is a strong possibility that I, may have more sunsets and sunrises behind me than I have before me, it does not negate my awareness of the journey toward integrated balance.
As a novice athlete signing up for training programs and race events I have a subscription to USA TRIATHLON and RUNNER'S WORLD. Although I look nothing like these perfect human specimens nor as fast, and my quick cadence time is their leisurely walking activity, there is something that we have in common; humility and patience.
This was made clear to me during my third leg of Winter Warrior: Triathlon edition training. The swim coach reminded us that some may be stronger runners (7 minute mile), others may have Breaking Away committed to memory especially the scene were the cyclist chases down a semi going 60 miles an hour, and still others may swim faster than Mark Phelps and Aquaman combined,
but, the triathlon teaches humility and patience.
I read an article by Jeff Matlow entitled: MY MID-TRI CRISIS were he finds life lessons from his twenty years of participating in the sport. He comes from a running background and loves to rack up mileage. I don't like running, the pounding and pain is at times more than I can bare.He hates the monotony of swimming back and forth. For me I find swimming to be relaxing, except when I am worrying about sinking and drowning on a side kick drill but, I digress. We share a similar ambivalence about biking that at times it's a "mindless slog".
So, why do I put my body through hours of P.T. (physical torture)? It would be much easier to sleep, and to eat whatever I want when I want. What is the pay off for me? Humility and patience. Jeff Matlow shared his three life lessons that I am incorporating and tailoring to fit me.
1. Slow is smooth, smooth is fast.
I am learning to embrace the slow and smooth motions of the exercises. As I focus on controlled deliberate moments I am reminded to breathe and feel into the current of the water, the road underneath me and the rhythm of my stride. As I learn to slow down and pace I experience the sensation of motionless flight. This is helpful in my life to reach a place of acceptance and commitment.
2. Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.
This truth resonates deeply within me. I have had my fair share of heartache and pain in my life. I know what it is to be the object of ridicule and meanness. I have experienced the pain of an unhealthy lifestyle. I know the pain of loneliness, fear and depression. We don't get out of life without pain, trauma, and brokenness. Pain is inevitable more ways than one but, psychological suffering is a choice. Quieting the mind and opening the soul is the key powerful and trans-formative re-framing.
3. It's not about the time it takes to get from the start to the finish, It's about the time you have in between.
I was recently asked if I were an animal what would I be. I responded that I would a tortoise. My friends were choosing "sexy" animals like lion, panther, eagle, bear.." I was the only one that said tortoise. The tortoise is weathered by the storms and seasons of eons yet and with humility and patience endures the ravages of time. The tortoise's shell can withstand extreme pressures while remaining soft and pliable on the inside. A tortoise is always present to where they were "slow walking down" the faster animals. There is song that says: The race is not given to the swift nor to the strong but to the one that endures until the end. I am beginning 2014 with these life lessons articulated in a poem by Rudyard Kipling:
If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs and blaming it on you; If, you can trust yourself when all men doubt you but make allowance for their doubting too; If you can wait and not be tired by waiting, or being lied about don't deal in lies, or being hated don't give way to hating, and yet don't look to good nor talk to wise.
If you can dream -and not make dreams your master-, if you can think-but not make thoughts your aim; if you can meet with Triumph and Disaster, and those two impostors just the same; if you bear to hear the truth you've spoken, twisted by knaves to a trap for fools, or watch the things you gave your life to, broken, and stoop and build'em with worn-out tools:
If you can make one heap of all your winnings and risk it on one turn of pitch and toss, and lose, and start again at your beginnings and never breathe a word about your loss; if you can force your heart, and nerve, and sinew to serve their turn long after they are gone, and so hold on when there is nothing in you except the Will which says to them "hold on!"
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue, or walk with kings-nor lose the common touch, if neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you; if all men count with you, but none too much, if you can fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds of distance run, Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it, and-which is more- you'll be a Man my Son!
Wednesday, January 8, 2014
Tuesday, December 10, 2013
Re-visiting covered ground
It has been said: "Don't burn your bridges you never know when you will need to cross over them again."
I am discovering that my journey has a cyclic nature. Milestones that I've passed are re-emerging as well as obstacles that I thought I mastered.
I am aware of the ebb and flow of my journey. On this return trip, my senses are heightened with a mixed feeling of uncertainty and excitement.
Staying connected in the present without living in the past and worrying about the future is a robust and daunting enterprise.
Acceptance of anxiety and frustration while remaining committed to transformation is the essence of growth and spiritual maturity.
I am blessed with companions, teachers, and friends on my path that enable me to remain engaged in the process of living life from the inside out rather than the outside in. This is my awareness as I return to familiar bridges and crossroads.
My uncle, Johnnie (peace to his memory) once told me about the optimal distance of keeping me eye on goals I set for myself.
If my objective is too close I will be blinded by it and miss the enjoyment and beauty of life. If my objective is too far ahead I will become disheartened and not appreciate where I am or how far I've come.
I once read that the secret to winning an Ironman is not getting too high on the abundance of excitement or burst of adrenaline at the beginning of the race nor getting too low when every cell in your body is screaming in rebellion to quit because you are going to die.
The key to finishing is one step, one stroke, one pedal at a time.
As I revisit this deep truth, it's time to run my run because it's fun until its done.
Peace & Blessings on Your Journey.
I am discovering that my journey has a cyclic nature. Milestones that I've passed are re-emerging as well as obstacles that I thought I mastered.
I am aware of the ebb and flow of my journey. On this return trip, my senses are heightened with a mixed feeling of uncertainty and excitement.
Staying connected in the present without living in the past and worrying about the future is a robust and daunting enterprise.
Acceptance of anxiety and frustration while remaining committed to transformation is the essence of growth and spiritual maturity.
I am blessed with companions, teachers, and friends on my path that enable me to remain engaged in the process of living life from the inside out rather than the outside in. This is my awareness as I return to familiar bridges and crossroads.
My uncle, Johnnie (peace to his memory) once told me about the optimal distance of keeping me eye on goals I set for myself.
If my objective is too close I will be blinded by it and miss the enjoyment and beauty of life. If my objective is too far ahead I will become disheartened and not appreciate where I am or how far I've come.
I once read that the secret to winning an Ironman is not getting too high on the abundance of excitement or burst of adrenaline at the beginning of the race nor getting too low when every cell in your body is screaming in rebellion to quit because you are going to die.
The key to finishing is one step, one stroke, one pedal at a time.
As I revisit this deep truth, it's time to run my run because it's fun until its done.
Peace & Blessings on Your Journey.
Saturday, November 30, 2013
Alternative Routes
Alternative routes are time consuming and tedious but they can you to places where you would have not gone otherwise. Along the way you make discoveries that would have been missed had you not taken that path. The paths we take in life lead us into the undiscovered territory of our interior landscape.
Two years ago, I began a journey of weight loss because of a million dollar challenge. At that time I, was emotionally and mentally operating on auto pilot. I was sleep walking through my through my life. My weight was climbing out of control. I figured a million dollar challenge was the motivation I needed to do something about it.
.
I did not win the challenge, RATS!!
However, I took an alternative route toward sustained behavioral change. This time consuming and tedious alternative route has exposed me to places, events, and people that I would not have experienced otherwise.
I was walk/jogging yesterday around the periphery of a shopping complex and discovered that I don't need perfect conditions and locations to get exercise in. I did my own make shift 5k course in 45minutes. Two years ago it would have taken me well over a hour and a half to traverse that same distance.Yesterday I did 30 minute strength training and one hour Reformer Pilate's. Two years ago that would not have happened.
Alternative Routes, although time consuming and tedious, are often blessings in disguise.
I am grateful for the people I've meet, the friends I've made, and the self discoveries I've experienced
on my alternative route.
Peace & Blessings on Your Journey
Two years ago, I began a journey of weight loss because of a million dollar challenge. At that time I, was emotionally and mentally operating on auto pilot. I was sleep walking through my through my life. My weight was climbing out of control. I figured a million dollar challenge was the motivation I needed to do something about it.
.
I did not win the challenge, RATS!!
However, I took an alternative route toward sustained behavioral change. This time consuming and tedious alternative route has exposed me to places, events, and people that I would not have experienced otherwise.
I was walk/jogging yesterday around the periphery of a shopping complex and discovered that I don't need perfect conditions and locations to get exercise in. I did my own make shift 5k course in 45minutes. Two years ago it would have taken me well over a hour and a half to traverse that same distance.Yesterday I did 30 minute strength training and one hour Reformer Pilate's. Two years ago that would not have happened.
Alternative Routes, although time consuming and tedious, are often blessings in disguise.
I am grateful for the people I've meet, the friends I've made, and the self discoveries I've experienced
on my alternative route.
Peace & Blessings on Your Journey
Wednesday, November 27, 2013
Crossing borders
It's been a while since I last posted. So here's a little something for those may have thought I stopped.
As the year comes to an end and preparations begin for the next, I am reminded to pause and breath.
I can so far ahead of myself with grand plans and lofty goals that I forget to breath and ground myself.
Some years ago I was blessed to experience a water, breath, sound meditation exercise that helped me focus. I have not done these exercises for quite sometime but, I found them to be helpful a way to open to the journey within.
The journey within is about crossing borders into unknown territory. Moving past barriers that block my creativity, my happiness, my love. There are external and internal voices telling me what I can and can not do, what I can and can not be, what I can and can not have. But, I am moving past those voices to live my life free of domestication.
As I prepare for next year's race season I sense an invitation to explore why I am doing all this training for races and endurance events? Why not just sit back take life as it comes and not challenge myself? Life has enough challenges why, add to it? These are good questions to ponder.
When I was watching Dancing the Stars there was well portioned sister that was dancing her heart out giving her competition a run for the money!! There was a star with brain cancer dancing with grace and determination!! They tapped into something deep within.
Next year I will be racing in several major races one half marathon, maybe two. Two Olympic Triathlons 1,500m swim, a 40km bike and 10km run one with a team the other solo. A ten mile race and several 5k's. And a sprint Triathlon or two thrown in for flavor. My take away from the motivational video is this quote:
"I am a lion in a field of lions all hunting the same elusive prey with a desperate starvation that says victory is the only thing that will keep me alive."
I will see you at the border crossing :)
Peace & Blessings on Your Journey
As the year comes to an end and preparations begin for the next, I am reminded to pause and breath.
I can so far ahead of myself with grand plans and lofty goals that I forget to breath and ground myself.
Some years ago I was blessed to experience a water, breath, sound meditation exercise that helped me focus. I have not done these exercises for quite sometime but, I found them to be helpful a way to open to the journey within.
The journey within is about crossing borders into unknown territory. Moving past barriers that block my creativity, my happiness, my love. There are external and internal voices telling me what I can and can not do, what I can and can not be, what I can and can not have. But, I am moving past those voices to live my life free of domestication.
As I prepare for next year's race season I sense an invitation to explore why I am doing all this training for races and endurance events? Why not just sit back take life as it comes and not challenge myself? Life has enough challenges why, add to it? These are good questions to ponder.
When I was watching Dancing the Stars there was well portioned sister that was dancing her heart out giving her competition a run for the money!! There was a star with brain cancer dancing with grace and determination!! They tapped into something deep within.
Next year I will be racing in several major races one half marathon, maybe two. Two Olympic Triathlons 1,500m swim, a 40km bike and 10km run one with a team the other solo. A ten mile race and several 5k's. And a sprint Triathlon or two thrown in for flavor. My take away from the motivational video is this quote:
"I am a lion in a field of lions all hunting the same elusive prey with a desperate starvation that says victory is the only thing that will keep me alive."
I will see you at the border crossing :)
Peace & Blessings on Your Journey
Friday, November 15, 2013
Facing down obstacles
It is said: "that what is in you will come out of you". Today my trainer wanted me to try "box jumps" (vertically jumping onto a platform just shy of 12 inches high).
At first glance, I thought to myself: "there is no way I'm going to jump that high" "I'm going to fall flat on my face!!"
F.E.A.R. (False Evidence Appearing Real) is a powerful force. But, once on the other side of it you experience F.A.I.T.H (Full Assurance Invoking Transformative Healing)
Did I fall? You better believe it!! But, I shook it off and got back up. The ability to get back up comes from the source of peace and power that resides deep within. As I cleared my mind and focused on engaging my core I was able to do three sets of box jumps each jump stronger than the last.
As 2014 approaches I am facing the F.E.A.R of: three half marathons, the Solider Field Ten mile, two international distance triathlons, and a couple of triathlon sprints and 5ks thrown in for flavour. Yet, as I begin Winter Warrior Training (Triathlon edition) I am open to increasing my F.A.I.T.H
Moving from F.E.A.R to F.A.I.T.H is a process of increasing what fuels my soul and decreasing what doesn't.
It is my hearts intention that you do the same.
Peace & Blessings on Your Journey..
At first glance, I thought to myself: "there is no way I'm going to jump that high" "I'm going to fall flat on my face!!"
F.E.A.R. (False Evidence Appearing Real) is a powerful force. But, once on the other side of it you experience F.A.I.T.H (Full Assurance Invoking Transformative Healing)
Did I fall? You better believe it!! But, I shook it off and got back up. The ability to get back up comes from the source of peace and power that resides deep within. As I cleared my mind and focused on engaging my core I was able to do three sets of box jumps each jump stronger than the last.
As 2014 approaches I am facing the F.E.A.R of: three half marathons, the Solider Field Ten mile, two international distance triathlons, and a couple of triathlon sprints and 5ks thrown in for flavour. Yet, as I begin Winter Warrior Training (Triathlon edition) I am open to increasing my F.A.I.T.H
Moving from F.E.A.R to F.A.I.T.H is a process of increasing what fuels my soul and decreasing what doesn't.
It is my hearts intention that you do the same.
Peace & Blessings on Your Journey..
Thursday, November 14, 2013
Hidden Blessings
So, I'm running late in getting to the gym. I get here and discover that I don't have my swimsuit to put on after my treadmill class. Oh, crap! Now what?
The original plan was to do the treadmill class, get in a swim and aqua volleyball, then finish up with core workout class to prepare for the holiday season. A few years ago I would have had an all or nothing mindset, gone home frustrated, and ate something heavy while sulking in front of the television, nodding off to zombie land!!! Not a pretty picture people!!!!
That was then, this is now!
I realize that all or nothing thinking does not help me on my journey. Things always seem to happen to throw my schedule and plans off track. (I can't believe I missed almost two weeks of treadmill classes..what in the word was I thinking?) But, I am growing in my awareness to adapt and overcome.
I accept my frustrations and anxieties while being committed to honoring my vows to myself. I discovered today that the word "marry" is a nautical term that means interweaving two pieces of rope to make a stronger bond.
So I interweave my heart with my mind, my body with my spirit, my frustrations with my acceptance emerging into a stronger me on the inside and out as I cherish and love myself.
I encourage you Cherish, yourself!! Love yourself!!
Growth is insight with sustained behavioral change. Live in the present and remain open to the possibilities all around you. You never know what opportunities may present themselves.
As a result of not having my swimsuit I worked out harder in treadmill class. Afterward, while I trying to control my breathing, I shared that I had a lot of time on my hands before my next class so I, was invited to share my story with a class of people just starting their journey.
I am truly humbled and honored if my journey can bless others on theirs.
Peace & Blessings On Your Journey
The original plan was to do the treadmill class, get in a swim and aqua volleyball, then finish up with core workout class to prepare for the holiday season. A few years ago I would have had an all or nothing mindset, gone home frustrated, and ate something heavy while sulking in front of the television, nodding off to zombie land!!! Not a pretty picture people!!!!
That was then, this is now!
I realize that all or nothing thinking does not help me on my journey. Things always seem to happen to throw my schedule and plans off track. (I can't believe I missed almost two weeks of treadmill classes..what in the word was I thinking?) But, I am growing in my awareness to adapt and overcome.
I accept my frustrations and anxieties while being committed to honoring my vows to myself. I discovered today that the word "marry" is a nautical term that means interweaving two pieces of rope to make a stronger bond.
So I interweave my heart with my mind, my body with my spirit, my frustrations with my acceptance emerging into a stronger me on the inside and out as I cherish and love myself.
I encourage you Cherish, yourself!! Love yourself!!
Growth is insight with sustained behavioral change. Live in the present and remain open to the possibilities all around you. You never know what opportunities may present themselves.
As a result of not having my swimsuit I worked out harder in treadmill class. Afterward, while I trying to control my breathing, I shared that I had a lot of time on my hands before my next class so I, was invited to share my story with a class of people just starting their journey.
I am truly humbled and honored if my journey can bless others on theirs.
Peace & Blessings On Your Journey
Monday, November 11, 2013
Almost there
I have had the pleasure of participating in several races this year beginning with the Jan. 1 2013 Commitment Day 5k where the temperature was a balmy 19 degrees with light snow and ice on the course and ending with the recent Hot Chocolate 15k with several others races and two triathlon sprints thrown in for good measure.
On every race there are the wonderful volunteers on the course and the participants who have completed the course and claimed their prize who say these the magical words that evoke mixed responses deep from within. These seven powerful words are blessing and a burden. There are blessings because they indicate that relief is close at hand but a burden because you realize you're not there yet. What are well meaning words spoken to inspire and encourage? Simply this "Great job!! Keep going you're almost there!!" Nine times out of ten my first inner thought is: "Are these people kidding me? I heard there's a mile to go, freaking two miles ago!!" "Almost there is not, freaking being there!!"
Usually when I hear this words I've reached my limit and every fiber in my being is wondering if I will meet my creator at the finish line but, simultaneously wishing I won't. One part my psyche is secretly praying, "please Lord take me now!" and the other part of my mind responds "Ignore that last request, I'm not ready yet, I 've got work to do!!!" This internal robust turmoil intensifies a mile out, half mile out, and a quarter mile out, down to the final all out sprint, when the finish line is in sight. :
So, with a devil on my left saying: "Almost there my ass! These people are messing with you!! You need to stop, you're not going to make it. Give up now!" and an angel on my right chanting: "almost there..anything, anything, you can do anything for 15minutes...almost there..anything, anything you can do anything for 15minutes" I put one foot in front of the other and keep going.
Today, I discovered the importance of putting one foot in front of the other. My wife introduced me to a 100 foot 45 degree climb called Swallow Cliff. This imposing obstacle is 125 stairs of sheer cardiac delight. As a naive novice climber I looked up this steep incline thinking: "This doesn't like so bad. How hard could it be?" At step 65 I found myself saying WTF!! I know it was step 65 because, I was bent over gasping for air looking at the painted blue number staring back at me taunting me saying "Is that all you got?" When I looked heavenward and saw fellow climbers running up and taking the stairs two at a time I heard a small soft voice begin to chant: "almost there..anything, anything, you can do anything for 15minutes!" So, like the "Little Engine That Could" I dug deep and went up and over the stairs one step at time putting one foot in front of the other, finishing with a nice jog on the hiking trail on the otherside.
On the jog as we went into the woods my wife wanted to stop and turn around and I said let's keep going we are almost there. We have never been to this place mind you but, I was confidently telling her: We are almost there, lets go another 15 minutes." After the hike we returned to the stairs for the awkward climb down. Upon reaching the bottom we decided to ascend and descend the 125 stairs two more times before returning to the car.With each ascent and descent I gained strength and endurance.
On the third trip down I found myself confidently smiling and encouraging another bent over climber at step 65 with these seven magical words: "Great job!! Keep going, you're almost there!!"
Peace & Blessings On Your Journey..
On every race there are the wonderful volunteers on the course and the participants who have completed the course and claimed their prize who say these the magical words that evoke mixed responses deep from within. These seven powerful words are blessing and a burden. There are blessings because they indicate that relief is close at hand but a burden because you realize you're not there yet. What are well meaning words spoken to inspire and encourage? Simply this "Great job!! Keep going you're almost there!!" Nine times out of ten my first inner thought is: "Are these people kidding me? I heard there's a mile to go, freaking two miles ago!!" "Almost there is not, freaking being there!!"
Usually when I hear this words I've reached my limit and every fiber in my being is wondering if I will meet my creator at the finish line but, simultaneously wishing I won't. One part my psyche is secretly praying, "please Lord take me now!" and the other part of my mind responds "Ignore that last request, I'm not ready yet, I 've got work to do!!!" This internal robust turmoil intensifies a mile out, half mile out, and a quarter mile out, down to the final all out sprint, when the finish line is in sight. :
So, with a devil on my left saying: "Almost there my ass! These people are messing with you!! You need to stop, you're not going to make it. Give up now!" and an angel on my right chanting: "almost there..anything, anything, you can do anything for 15minutes...almost there..anything, anything you can do anything for 15minutes" I put one foot in front of the other and keep going.
Today, I discovered the importance of putting one foot in front of the other. My wife introduced me to a 100 foot 45 degree climb called Swallow Cliff. This imposing obstacle is 125 stairs of sheer cardiac delight. As a naive novice climber I looked up this steep incline thinking: "This doesn't like so bad. How hard could it be?" At step 65 I found myself saying WTF!! I know it was step 65 because, I was bent over gasping for air looking at the painted blue number staring back at me taunting me saying "Is that all you got?" When I looked heavenward and saw fellow climbers running up and taking the stairs two at a time I heard a small soft voice begin to chant: "almost there..anything, anything, you can do anything for 15minutes!" So, like the "Little Engine That Could" I dug deep and went up and over the stairs one step at time putting one foot in front of the other, finishing with a nice jog on the hiking trail on the otherside.
On the jog as we went into the woods my wife wanted to stop and turn around and I said let's keep going we are almost there. We have never been to this place mind you but, I was confidently telling her: We are almost there, lets go another 15 minutes." After the hike we returned to the stairs for the awkward climb down. Upon reaching the bottom we decided to ascend and descend the 125 stairs two more times before returning to the car.With each ascent and descent I gained strength and endurance.
On the third trip down I found myself confidently smiling and encouraging another bent over climber at step 65 with these seven magical words: "Great job!! Keep going, you're almost there!!"
Peace & Blessings On Your Journey..
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