Moving through the winter season

Yesterday, I was blessed to complete an in-door Tri 10 minute swim, 20 minute bike and 20 minute run with a group of wonderful athletes, coaches, and support staff. The experience taught me some valuable lessons.

 I was reminded once again on how self-critical I can be. My internal judge and critic were working over time trying to negate my accomplishment. I am now growing in my awareness to take internal and external feedback in stride examining the truth of the matter from a subjective/objective perspective.

Could I have swam more efficiently? Yes, of course! However, I was able to use my survival skills, changing up my stroke, rolling, over, etc., to calm down gain control thereby avoiding drowning!!  This will be extremely helpful when I tackle Lake Michigan and other open water bodies next season. Could I have biked harder and got more power wattage output per pedal stroke? Absolutely!! I did keep my RPM's between 90 and 100 for 95 percent of the ride. A future compu training class will help me gain speed, endurance, and power! Could I have sprinted and ran faster on each lap? Heck yes!!! However, I finished strong with energy to spare, engaging my core and "squeezing the quarter" will help my running form.

The biggest lesson I learned was about pain. Finding, the motivation for working through physical discomfort. A quote from "G.I. Jane" always comes to mind: "Pain is your friend, it tell you if you seriously injured and remind you to do the job and get the hell home!...But, you know the best apart pain...No Master Chief...It LETS YOU KNOW YOU'RE NOT DEAD YET!!"

Is training hard" It sure is!! Is it painful? More I can care for it to be!! I am learning to tell the  difference between being hurt and injured. If I'm hurting I can and will push through it! When I'm seriously injured I will seek medical assistance. I am coming to realize that pain is the crucible where the soul is forged.

This winter season is a painful one for me on many levels. It is easy for me to retreat into the silence of pain. My ability to force my heart, nerve, and sinew to serve their long after they are gone and hold on when there is nothing left in me except the will which says to them hold on; is what motivates me to fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run. How I move through this winter season, not running from or suppressing my pain but, rather  embracing and befriending the difficult moments and grief memories will invite to stay connected to me as I swim, bike, and run into sustained recovery.

Will I ever "win" a race? Walter D Wintle provides me with the inspiration to undergird my motivation. He writes:

If you think you are beaten, you are;
If you think you dare not, you don't.
If you'd like to win, but think you can't
It's almost a cinch you won't.
If you think you'll lose, you've lost,
For out in the world we find
Success being with a fellow's will;
It's all in the state of mind.

If you think you're outclassed, you are:
You've got to think high to rise.
You've got to be sure of yourself before
You can ever win a prize.
Life's battles don't always go
To the stronger or faster man,
But soon or late the man who wins
Is the one who thinks he can.


Peace & Blessings on Your Journey

A funny thing happened on the way...

So, this morning I wake up in what I thought would be enough time to make it to the gym for a Run Club class. For some reason the time got away from me. I just lost track of time. As I'm headed out the door I realized that by the time I made it through traffic, parked in the gym lot, put my stuff in the locker, Run Club would be 80 percent finished.  Normally, I would have jumped in the car trying to make it to class, feeling angry and frustrated the entire ride then arriving late missing the workout. So, in that split second I decided to forego the long drive and go for a brisk walk/ light jog.

The weather was cold but, not too cold to get a mile and some change in. On the final stretch home I hear somebody call my name it was neighbor who is a member of  a workout team I belong to. She was on her way to spin class. I almost went to that class but decided to do some toning and strengthening at home. When I got to work I checked my email and discovered that I may have signed up for Half Iron Man training (which is way beyond my current abilities!!) actually, I meant to sign up for a different training program!  I was about to give in to frustration and disappointment but I was reminded of this poem:

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,

When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,

When the funds are low and the debts are high,

And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,

When care is pressing you down a bit-

Rest if you must, but don't you quit. Life is queer with its twists and turns,

As every one of us sometimes learns,

And many a fellow turns about

When he might have won had he stuck it out.

Don't give up though the pace seems slow -

You may succeed with another blow. Often the goal is nearer than

It seems to a faint and faltering man;

Often the struggler has given up

When he might have captured the victor's cup;

And he learned too late when the night came down,

How close he was to the golden crown. Success is failure turned inside out -

The silver tint in the clouds of doubt,

And you never can tell how close you are,

It might be near when it seems afar;

So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit -

It's when things seem worst that you must not quit.

The Journey Continues..
 

Starting over

It is difficult to believe that my last entry was Sept. 2, 2014!! Time truly keeps on slipping into the future! The past three months have seen setbacks and failures. I am reminded of my fledgling attempts to learn how to bike, ski, and rollerskate. Each fall more painful than the last. There is a cultural wisdom proverb that says: "You fall down seven times, you stand up eight." So, this entry is me, standing back up after falling down and staying down for over three months.

I was reading this morning the Greek myth of Theseus, Ariadne, the Labyrinth, and the Minotaur. Theseus' journey home was through the Labyrinth at the dark center was the Minotaur waiting to devour him. Theseus conqured the Minotaur but, needed a way out of the darkness into the light. He had a life line that Ariadne gave him which he unwound as he got deeper and deeper into the maze. Theseus followed the tow line through the dark Labyrinth until he broke through to the light on the other side.

I was asked today why am I preparing to engage in Half Iron-Man training? After my last showing in the Chicago Half Marathon and International distance triathlon I have no logical reason to sign up for a Half Iron Marathon, yet here I am signing up after having such a poor performance my last two races..

The motivation (drive) and inspiration (draw) to train and race comes and goes like the waves of choppy water. I am coming to realize the importance of embracing and befriending the ebb and flow into the Labyrinth and the way out.

My goal is to be present to my pain while training, and to learn from my multiple dimensions. There is a poem that resonates within my soul:

The test of Man is the fight that he makes. The grit he daily shows, the way he stands upon his feet and takes life's numerous bumps and blows. A coward can smile when there's naught to fear and nothing his progress bars. But, it takes a man to stand and cheer while the other  fellow stars. It isn't the victory after all but, the fight a brother makes. A man when driven against the wall, still stands erect with his head held high, bleeding bruised, and pale is the man who will win and fate deified because he isn't afraid to fail.

The Journey Begins Anew