Thursday, October 31, 2013

Companions on the way

Have you ever been on a long road trip playing "follow the leader" with a another driver. You pass that driver, that driver passes you? This back and forth "game" goes on for a lengthy duration and you make a slight connection but don't acknowledge it.  Has this ever happened to you? Then some where the down road you find yourselves at the same Rest Area taking a break to stretch your legs then out of the blue the other driver says: "I appreciate your driving you helped pass the time." You think to yourself:  'Really? You helped me more than I helped you.'

In life we pass each other at high speeds palying "follow the leader" barely connecting, until we find ourselves at a rest station preparing ourselves to re-engage the road.

You never know how your journey can bless someone else on theirs. Someone read a recent post I made and decided to re-engage the road of lifestyle change and healthy living. I thought to myself: "Wow..I didn't realize people actually read what I write and understand."

My journey is not about a magic pill, secret formula, special gym equipment, or quick fixes. My journey is long and difficult it is the road less traveled. On any given day I fall down but I get back up. There is an ancient proverb "Fall down seven times, stand up eight".

When I fall and get back up again, may I be so blessed to find companions on the way who know, understand and share in the struggle. Life is series of small connections that creates a larger mosaic. Be the companion you hope to find on the way.

Peace & Blessings on Your Journey

Monday, October 28, 2013

Feeling some kind of way: Rise and Shine Welcome to the Grind

Terminology and colloquial sayings are constantly changing. I heard someone say: "I'm feeling some kind of way about...."

What an interesting way to describe the nexus between fear and apathy or frustration and rage. I am no psychologist or psychotherapist (I surely need one) but, it feels like this saying is a catchall phrase to articulate the liminal space between hope and despair.

I recently received the following motivational clip entitled Rise and Shine that speaks to my feeling some kind of way.

Every day is series of conflicts between the right way and the easy way. I will sit up. Put my feet on the floor because I've got work to do.

I am entering the Grind.

Peace & Blessings on  Your Journey

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Running on empty

I once brought a car that had a funky gas gauge. It would read that I had gas in the tank when in actually I was cruising on fumes. Running out of gas on a long trip sucks in more ways than one!!! Walking to the nearest gas station to buy a gas can to fill up and walk back to the car is frustrating and embarrassing.

I am reminded to stayed hydrated and keep good fuel for the long workouts. No fuel on board makes for one long and painful workout and recovery. Finding the right balance of carbs and protein is not easy. But, the saying garbage in garbage out fits.

I am learning that my journey is more than about the external is it also about my inner awareness. There are times when I feel like I'm running on empty and going through the motions. When those times come, (and they do come with a fierceness!) I am reminded of the Last Samurai.

When Algrin (Tom Cruise) is learning the way of sword he has a difficult time and runs out of gas physically and emotionally. Laying spent, frustrated and embarrassed in the field Algrin run out of gas until his young captor Top Knot says: "Too many mind" "Mind the wind...mind the people...mind the noise...No Mind"

To be mindful is to let go of thoughts and expectations and except the inner energy that helps fuel the journey.

If you took time to read this may you be energized enough not to run on empty.

Peace and Blessings on Journey



Monday, October 21, 2013

Getting in touch with the Core

A very entertaining story is Journey to the Center of the Earth. There are several stories like the CORE, Inner Space, etc. that share a similar motif with Journey to the Center of Earth. All these movies have the theme of going deep beneath the surface to discover a whole new world fraught with burdens and blessings. The journey is about going in and coming out on the other side. Case in point, in the movie, Lost In Space, the Jupiter II had to go down through the core of the planet while it was breaking up in order to survive.

Finding the core and engaging the core is very difficult. I started taking a Pilate's Reformer class in-addition to TRX and Kettlebell and very sporadically Yoga.Through these rigorous and strenuous exercises I am growing more mindful of my core  for when I swim, bike, and run. A strong physical core makes all those activities possible. But, my life is more than the sum of my physical fitness or lack thereof. Finding and engaging my inner core is as hard and daunting a process as finding and engaging my physical core.

The other day I was oscillating between frustration and apathy when I gained weight. I know the scale gives objective information however, I was pissed to my core. This feeling got worse the days that followed and led into a serious funk over the weekend. I found myself  asking: why am I doing this? Who cares really? Life will roll along just fine without me. I am coming to realize that when I experience these intense emotions I am getting in touch with my core.

At my core there is a dynamic interaction between my shadow and light. There's a narrative about a Native American  grandfather talking with grandson, telling the grandson the story of the two wolfs at war inside all of us. The one that wins is the one you feed the most. Yet, I am coming to understand that I need to engage and feed my shadow and my light,  because together they generate powerful  kinetic energy to break the gravitational pull of hopelessness and despair. Warp drive, for any sci-fi folk reading this, is created by the controlled balanced explosion between matter and anti-matter.As I get in touch with my core I ask three crucial questions: Who am I? Why am I here? and How am I in touch with me on the journey?

So, now whether I lose weight, gain weight, or maintain my weight I strive to get in touch with my core. If I run a 14:53min  mile or a 9:55min mile I seek to be in touch with my core inside and out. If, I swim 2miles in open water in less than 45 minutes or if, it takes me 2 hours, I won't forget about my core. If I generate 775 watts on the bike or barely break 300watts I am encouraged to stay in touch with my core. 

If, you have been following this blog feel free to leave a response from the core of your being :)

Peace & Blessings on Your Journey.

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Befriending Pain

I watch G.I. Jane every time it comes on cable or the networks. It is the story of a woman who tries to become the first female Navy Seal. There is scene that takes place at the start of Hell Week. The recruits are doing leg lifts in the water and sand after going through excruciating PT (Physical Torture). The Master Chief is instructing them about pain he says: "Pain is your friend. It will remind you to finish the job and get the hell home...You know the best thing about pain? (pauses) No Master Chief. IT LET'S YOU KNOW YOU'RE NOT DEAD YET!!"

I have friends who just finished the Chicago Marathon, a feat I will attempt after the Chicago Half, one friend in particular ran his first Marathon and posted the 8 Stages of Running a Marathon on YouTube it is the funniest thing ever but true!!! It equates to phases in life's journey 1.excitement 2.Denial 3. Shock 4. isolation 5. despair 6. THE WALL 7. Affirmation 8. Elation. I have not run a Marathon yet but experienced all of these emotions in varying degrees along my life's journey.

Nobody likes pain. In fact we try to avoid  it at all costs!! But, pain is a fact of life!!! Birth? Painful! (ask my sister with her seven children!!), Root canal?  Painful!  Heartburn after eating sliders? Painful! Broken heart?  Painful! Getting fired? Painful! Saying goodbye to loved ones? Painful!!

 Pain is a fact of life. It is at the core of the human experience. The Psalmist says "weeping endures for a night but joy comes in the morning" But, what do you between the night and morning? Befriend the Pain.

I have a lot physical pain from my bone spur in my heel which arragvates my Achilles tendon, to my pre-arthritic knees. My body screams at me in the morning why are you getting out of bed????!!! Then I think about the man with MS who finished the Chicago Marathon in 16hours,  or the story of Matty Long, or the countless others who befriend the pain and continue the journey to finish the race. I write this entry in mild pain aching here, throbbing there but I'm grateful for the pain because it reminds me I'm NOT DEAD YET!!

Befriend the Pain it will teach you something.

Peace & Blessings on Your Journey

Tuesday, October 8, 2013

course correction

One day I set out on a road trip to visit my best friend who was living on the south east coast. I live in the mid-west well over ten plus hours away.

As I started my trip trip I had nothing with me but some scribbled directions my friend gave to me on a napkin! My friend provided me with a short cut that was guaranteed to take several hours off my drive time. When I arrived at the "short cut" I took the route numbered road instead of the interstate numbered road.

Needless to say that after several hundred miles  and tedious long hours of going in the wrong direction I ended up close to the Canadian border when I was trying to go to Southern Georgia!!! I needed a serious course correction!!!

On this year long journey of documenting my thoughts I find myself making course corrections.

I am discovering that external motivations to train, maintain my weight loss, and to become fitter for the International Tri and Half Tri distances  are starting to wane.

I am sensing the need for a course correction, shifting from external motivation to internal motivation. As I alluded to in previous posts I have spent the majority of my life living outside myself vulnerable to rejection and criticism of others.

People pleasing is a draining pursuit because nothing you do will ever be enough.

I am awaking to the concept I don't have to work out. I choose to work out!! I don't have swim, run, or bike. I choose to swim, run, and bike.

I usually get typical questions  asked when people see me working out or thy hear about the preparation for a pending race. They ask: why are you doing that? What made want to do this?
Why not stop and take it easy?

Rather than generating external answers and justifications I choose the course correction of looking within than from without. This is the difficult part of the journey that is easier said than done. But, I am encouraged that if I stay on the road, I will reach my destination in-spite of course corrections and all.


Peace & Blessings on your Journey!